Robot Thinks He’s Hot Shit Despite Serving Up Badminton Cans of Corn That I’m Ready To Eat

The children in the audience are very impressed for some reason. The robot is good at little loft volleys but if you put that shit up eye-height on me, I’m coming straight down the gut into your gut or I’m painting the lines like I’m Greg Maddox and you’re the Florida Marlins or like I’m a 2nd grader with better pincer control and can finally stay just inside the lines while coloring a tiger with blue and orange crayons. I couldn’t do it last year but now I can. Incredible growth.

Like I was saying, if you put that robot-guided soft serve trash anywhere near my cones and I’ll have you on your heels like youre a middle schooler scoot goofin around a grocery store wearing the shoes with the wheels in the heels. Heelys. You remember those. What a delight. Stylish, yet practical. Cool, yet rare. Not available in adult sizes which is a shame. I’d much rather go wheeling around my neighborhood and getting some fresh air than looking for another badminton opponent to wipe the floor with like theyre a Lysol cleaning wipe during Coronavirus season. I’m flat out too good and it’s costing me friendships which is extra costly while social distancing.

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Well, that’s the blog. See ya out there.

Your friend, 

Chaps