Sorry about the 'sexy' part of the headline but I couldn't see any other way someone would click this except for that glimmer of hope ha ha
I had a big, detailed explanation of how this whole 5.5 hour ordeal came to be but all you really need to know is that I've been in my one room apartment since March 9th with my cat and only a few hours outdoors. So I woke up this morning, saw the rain coming down and the thought of spending another day on the couch evaporated my soul. I needed a time killer. Something to get me moving... A lightbulb went off:
What a light, fun, silly little idea that seemed to be at the time. Back when I was so naive...
The song I selected was 'Lottery' AKA 'The Renegade' solely because there's one part where you make this funny breathing motion that I like. Seemed cute & easy!
"How hard could it be?"... thought the woman who has never ever in her life learned a dance except for a trip in 8th grade where they made the students square dance for some reason, which even then she was bad at.
Here's the full thing if you have plenty of time to scroll and want to hate someone:
There's lots to go around since I started at 1:56PM full of joy and promise. And I went until around 7:30pm.
FIVE HOURS AND TWENTY NINE MINUTES LATER. FIVE. HOURS. AND. TWENTY. NINE. MINUTES. LATER.
I did not stop to eat, I did not stop to pee, I only sat down for a few seconds a couple times. For 5.5 hours I slugged away at this thing. This 20 second dance. For 5.5 hours I got roasted online by a live audience.
The most accurate comment by 1000% was this one:
For how truly painful it was to watch everyone was extremely nice about it and it kind of warmed my heart (a lot). And when I finally completed a full run-through of the dance around 3:40 it was electric:
Until everyone realized that I then had to still add the music. In slow motion.
In the end after I finally logged off it was time for the real challenge. I spent an additional 45 minutes on the actual TikTok app trying to do it at full speed. And this is all I have to show for it:
At least it was better than some other attempts:
But ah, yeah. There you have it. Desperate times. Very interested to see if I'll still remember (my idea of) the moves when I wake up tomorrow. In closing, I may have embarrassed myself but at least some small good came of how bad I suck at dancing.