Boston.Com Love Letters - I Caught My Boyfriend Looking For Men On Craigslist
The Question
I found out my boyfriend of two years browses Craigslist for other men. I borrowed his iPad and found the personal ads he looked at and then found emails setting up meetings with other men. Some of these emails even included pornographic images of him in my clothes in my home. I confronted him and he said that it is a joke, he never met any men. He said that the pictures were him just “being silly” and something for him and his coworkers to do when bored. We have serious trust issues in our relationship and he has a history of cheating and lying to me. He is currently moving into my home as he recently sold the home he owned with an ex-fiancée. I have a young child and I’m at a total loss about what to do. I’m worried about my health, what I may be exposing my family to, and his continued pattern of lies and hiding.
Should I stop giving him the benefit of the doubt and run for it? Or is it worth trying to work this out for a man I love?
– Lost and Confused
Merdith Hoss Goldstein’s Answer
“We have serious trust issues in our relationship and he has a history of cheating and lying to me.”
That sentence is more problematic than anything else in this letter. It does sound like it’s time to end the relationship, but if that’s too overwhelming right this second, just stop the move. Make it clear that he’ll have to find a new place to live because you’re just not comfortable sharing your space.
For the record, reaching out to strangers and arranging meetups isn’t “silly.” If you’re in a committed relationship, it’s just cheating. Readers? Should she run? Any possibility this wasn’t cheating?
– Meredith
El Pres Answer
I’m not even going to address Lost and Confused in my response here. If anybody really needs advice on this situation then you are a lost cause and I pray for your soul. This response is strictly for Meredith “Hoss” Goldstein. Did she really say that the following sentence was the most problematic sentence in this entire letter?
“We have serious trust issues in our relationship and he has a history of cheating and lying to me.”
Umm so you’re saying that’s more troubling than the part where she said her boyfriend dresses up in her clothes and sends pornographic images to men? Really? Like who cares if he cheats and she doesn’t trust him. Welcome to 75% of America. But dressing up in your girlfriends clothes and sending cock shots to men on craigslist is bananaland. That’s how motherfuckers end up murdered and shit. WAKE UP HOSS! You should be institutionalized yourself for not making a bigger deal out of that part. #prayforhoss.