Parents Get Their Son Charged With Robbery After He Breaks Into Their House To Steal Meatballs

 Penfield man faces trespassing and theft charges after he allegedly broke into a house and was found hiding under a mattress.

Michael Paul Knepp, 43, of Penfield, is charged with burglary, a felony in the first degree, trespassing, receiving stolen property and theft by unlawful taking, according to a criminal complaint filed at Magisterial District Judge Mark Jacob’s office March 18.

Police searched the bedroom and noticed the mattress was moved, then reportedly discovered Knepp hiding under the mattress.

When police interviewed the owner of the residence, he reportedly said Knepp had been told to stay out of the residence and off of the property Feb. 1, and that the meatballs and chocolate chips did not belong to him.

Unsecured bail was set at $25,000. Knepp’s preliminary hearing is set for 1:30 p.m. April 7 at Jacob’s office.

Ah, the parents who have been dealing with their failure son for 25 years longer than they hoped, finally, at age 43 decided to scare him straight for the first time since his dad tried to cut his hair in 1990. That is QUITE the rap sheet for some meatballs and chocolate chips. Tresspassing, receiving stolen property, and theft. And why...all because he got too high and needed ma's frozen meatballs right that very second. The vision of this 40 year-old guy with a grey hair and a belly under the mattress, high as fuck, wide-eyed with paranoia, feet sticking out from under the mattress, with marinara sauce around his mouth and melted chocolate on his fingers cracks me up. Just a grown up baby in every possible way. Barglary, tresspassing, and left seems a little harsh for eating meatballs though. Like come on. I am sure this guy has been a fuck up and an expensive thorn in his parents' side, but you can't just charge him with a rap sheet that'll ruin his life because you're actually just mad that he has been smoking a ton of weed for the last three decades. Give him a DUI and send him on his way. 

PS: I mostly just blogged this because it reminded me of the video above and that video needs to go re-viral. Do NOT forget that guy's meatballs during the quarantine.