IT'S FLORIDA MAN FRIDAY ON THE HARD FACTOR PODCAST AND THE SUNSHINE STATE DID NOT DISAPPOINT.
If there's one thing every Florida native has a natural instinct for, it's some form of Martial Arts. Many find fascination in mastering the use of num chucks, swords, and knives...
... And a small few, like La-Donald Holmes, achieve the championed status of Florida Ninja. Earlier this week, Deputies arrested Holmes after being called to her boyfriend's home on Domestic Battery allegations. Holmes, local ninja, roundhouse kicked her boyfriend in the nose and punched him after he refused to have sex with her. Her boyfriend, who was diligently practicing social distancing, suffered a broken nose and damaged ego as he told authorities he refused "because she is leaving [him] to get back with her ex-husband."
When police arrived, Holmes was unable to stand on her own so paramedics were called, in fear that she may suffer a medical episode. In an attempt to disarm the Ninja, Paramedics strapped Holmes to the stretcher and wheeled her out of the house. Holmes, using her quick thinking, reverted to biological warfare by coughing on the paramedic while yelling "I'VE GOT CORONAVIRUS."
The guys make a great point… you never know what could be in a Florida woman's mouth, so it's always good to be diligent, especially at times like these. Be smart like La-Donald's boyfriend and practice social distancing. And while you're locked down, don't forget to buy a #LOCKDOWNTURNUP T-shirt from the Barstool store to help feed the elderly!
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