Just Your Standard Three Person Hot Tub Brawl Over Who Makes The Most Money As A Gay Escort

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(Source)Deputies with Spartanburg County Sheriff’s Office in South Carolina arrested a trio of men enjoying each other’s company in a hot tub after two of them began fighting over which one of them was the highest paid escort. Deputies said they were called to a home in Boiling Springs at approximately 1:30am on Sunday. Austin Adams, 18, and Michael Gordon, 33, had earlier visited a Spartanburg nightclub together, where they met Douglas Tench, 21. Tench told a deputy that he had “come down from Charlotte to go to a gay club in Spartanburg.” While at the club, deputies said Adams and Gordon invited Tench back to the home where Gordon is dog-sitting for the home’s owner. Deputies said both Adams and Tench reportedly worked as escorts. According to the incident report, Adams became violent while in the homeowner’s hot tub and began kicking and hitting Tench after an argument over who made more money as an escort.



So I’m gonna take a wild guess and assume it was these two dues fighting over who’s the better gay?


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C’mon, gay #2. Let’s be realistic here. I understand that admitting you’re not the hot guy in the crew is a tough move. I won class cutie in 5th grade and held onto that shit like my life depended on it. Through years of weight gain, breast augmentation, an extra chin or two, I still kept thinking “well I was class cutie in Mrs. Almedia’s class so I’m obviously the handsome one.” But, deep down in your heart, you know. There’s no need for hot tub fights about it. You can look in the mirror and convince yourself it’s a fat mirror (all the ones in my apartment are). You can see facebook pics and be like “Well idk why I look like shit in that pic because I know I’m hot, must not be photogenic anymore.” But when gay #1 is sitting across from you, you’ve got no choice but to face facts. You ain’t got it anymore dude. Gay #1 looks like he’s in NSYNC, he’s hot in the streets right now. Gay #2 is on the wrong side of 20 for the twink game. Accept it and start the self-loathing process. Water is warm over here.



PS – Really sucks to be that guy in the middle. Just a farmer trying to bring a couple bottoms home and be gay on the downlow in South Carolina then all of a sudden they start kick fighting about who makes more money sucking dick. Jig is up for him.