Some Idiot Decided To Slap Thanksgiving In The Face And Create A Vodka-Infused Turkey
SOURCE – A 100 proof vodka-infused turkey is being served at over 100 pubs and taverns across New York City to celebrate this year’s Thanksgiving. The boozy bird, which was unveiled at O’Casey’s Restaurant and Irish Pub in Midtown yesterday, is cooked using a whopping five different vodka flavors: cherry, peach, lemon, and apple. For big birds like the ones used at O’Casey’s the turkey is infused with vodka every six hours over the course of three days. According to O’Casey’s owner Paul Hurley, the amount of alcohol per serving depends almost entirely on how long the turkey is roasted, which is generally up to the chef’s discretion. O’Casey’s turkey is cooked for five hours, after which the chef removes excess sauce and mixes it with more 100 proof vodka to create a gravy. The idea for a vodka-infused turkey first began in Ireland when Mr Hurley’s mother asked why the Christmas turkey didn’t have any vodka in it.
Absolutely not. I need a vodka-infused turkey about as much as I need turkey-flavored vodka ie: not one fucking bit. I’m fine with combining things and being innovative: cinnamon and whiskey? Great, let’s make people black the fuck out. Cellphone and an iPod? Billion-dollar idea. Giant flashlight you can use as a defense weapon during a home invasion and a fuck toy for dudes? I’m sold. But you don’t start jizzing vodka all up in the Thanksgiving turkey; no matter what else you do for your stuffing or mashed potatoes or casseroles or cranberry sauce or whatever other sides you have, the turkey is the classic element that lays the base for the entire meal. The fact that this Paul Hurley and his alcoholic Irish mother can’t respect that and instead decided to inject their bird with a bunch of flavored Burnett’s is downright disrespectful and it makes me sick. It’s a slap in the face to the Pilgrims, the Indians that those pilgrims killed, and this great country that we’ve built off those events. I bet the Hurley family spends Christmas morning reading passages from the Quran and spinning dreidels too.
And by the way, you shouldn’t be consuming vodka on Thanksgiving anyways. Drink beer, wine, bourbon, whiskey, egg nog, whatever, but as a great man once said:
Respect the holiday, embrace sweater season, and give in to imbibing delicious, high calorie beverages that will make you fat and actually have flavor.