Earlier today, I wrote a blog reminiscing on the 2018 March Madness run that changed my life. In it, I wrote about some moments that made me pinch myself and think "Holy shit - is this real life?" People asking me for pictures, chanting my name, having Cal from Timeflies recognize me, getting DMed by Johnny Manziel, and more. Quite a few weeks.
Well, let's fast forward two years, and I think I'm having another one of those moments. Someone is out there texting girls pretending to be me. Me?!? Thomas Michael Scibelli. A guy out there thinks "You know what would really help my chances of getting laid? If a girl thinks that I'm Tommy Smokes." What an honor. I'm mad at the guy, sure. But I'm also just absolutely flattered.
I got a DM from a girl on Instagram earlier asking if this was really me texting her, with a few screenshots attached. It was not. Let's break down fake Tommy's game.
Relatively normal opening. Nothing weird yet. Well besides the fact that I'd be texting a girl I've never spoken to before out of the blue after somehow mysteriously acquiring her number.
"Who else......" ??!!?? How cocky! Also, I've never used more than three (four max) periods in a row. Anything more than that is sociopathic. My guy dropped 6 of them!
Now the part below that could very well be something I'd say I guess. NYC is really dirty, and I have been staying clean with the whole global pandemic stuff.
Touché. Would never use three "n"s at the end of "clean" though. I spell words properly.
Green bubbles need an explanation in 2020 unless you're an old. Fake Tommy had a plan for this. Clever. He knew the AT&T store would be closed during the Corona stuff too. He's good.
But I use Verizon.
I would never seriously use the phrase "people are gonna clown on me" but Fake Tommy did and even got her to drop a laugh reaction. He's good.
The girl then asks why I would randomly text her when we have never spoken before and are complete strangers. A fair question to say the least. This is when Fake Tommy really soiled my otherwise stellar reputation as a playboy, ladies man. I have never unironically used the abbreviation "af." I RARELY use emojis in a serious fashion, especially not that one.
"Sexiest girl in Cleveland" is a line I've used thousands of time though. Love finding out where a girl is from and then immediately claiming she's the sexist girl in that city. Sometimes I'll even use it when she's not from Cleveland.
"Where you from?"
"Sexiest girl Cleveland!!!"
Works like a charm.
Anyway, please be ware of fake Tommy. I left his number in because fuck him and also it's probably a fake number app anyway. I tried to call and confront him, but there was no answer. As much as I want to hate this guy for soiling my good name, I really can't help but feel honored. So thanks?