How is Mr. Portnoy Passing Time During This Crisis? "I'm Taking More Naps"

Today's Pardon My Take features a pair of guests that have each etched their mark since the very early days of the show's history. Earlier, we highlighted the return of Billy Football as he delivered an all-time speech to AWL's to defeat Coronavirus. Now, we shift our focus to recurring guest Mr. Portnoy, who is spending these tough days quarantining in Florida. During the interview, Mr. Cat and Mr. Commenter cut right to the chase and asked Mr. Portnoy what he's doing to pass the time:

Mr. Commenter: Can you give us any tips that you might have, like things that you're doing to pass the time? 

Mr. Portnoy: I'm taking more naps.

Mr. Commenter: Oh, nice. That's that's actually an underrated way to get through this crisis. It's like pressing fast forward on life. 

Mr. Cat: What time does a guy like you wake up in the morning?

Mr. Portnoy: You want the truth?

Mr. Cat: That's why I asked. 

Mr. Portnoy: My first wake is anywhere between 4 and 4:30. 

Mr. Cat: And are you up?

Mr. Portnoy: Well, I got to go to the bathroom.

Mr. Cat: And do you stay up?

Mr. Portnoy: I go to the bathroom. I used to check the stock market, but I don't do that anymore 

Mr. Cat: At 4:30 in the morning?

Mr. Commenter: It's not going to change. Oh, you're checking how it closed the day before.

Mr. Portnoy: So, generally, I don't go right back. Let's say I'll get up at 4:30, I'll get back in bed, but I won't sleep. Between 4:30 and 8:00, if I can catch another hour somewhere along the line, I'm in good shape. 

Mr. Cat: That's pretty good, and what time do you go to bed at night?

Mr. Portnoy: *sarcastically* 4 in the afternoon. 

Mr. Cat: We're actually talking to you while you sleepwalk right now. 

Mr. Portnoy: If I'm going to check out early in my lifetime, one of the reasons would be because I only sleep five hours a night. 

Mr. Cat: You're like John Kennedy.

Mr. Portnoy: So, I mean, that's not good.

Mr. Cat: No, it's not good. You got to get more sleep. Better for the immune system.

It's certainly not ideal that Mr. Portnoy is not getting enough sleep, however, it's nice to hear that he has been taking more naps during this pandemic, which obviously boosts the sleep time. Unfortunately, nobody knows when Coronavirus will come to an end, but for the time being, Mr. Portnoy will have a lot more time to catch up on those zzzzz's.