Carole Baskin From The Tiger King Is The Craziest Person To Ever Live And There's No Close Second

I watched about seven hours of a documentary today because, well, what the fuck else am I gonna do? It's the new one on Netflix, Tiger King and it's INSANE. I do find it absurd that every documentary needs to be a "series" now, not every story needs a 10 episode run, but this one is pretty close to being worth every second. Probably could've shaved an episode or two worth of footage off but I'm not gonna cry over it.

The documentary is so insane that the main focus of it, the guy who I'd guess was supposed to be the "villain" in the production room, isn't even close to the worst person in the show. That title belongs to Carole Baskin. She is NUTSO. As far as the entire story goes she's supposed to be something of the hero, or at least the victim, but from the moment she first appears on screen you know she's fit for a straight jacket.

Carole Haskin dresses like an earth mother but is certainly the planet's evil step sister. Her eyes are a beautiful blue yet still lifeless and her voice tries to be soothing but it's clearly screaming "I AM ABOUT TO MURDER YOU IN A WAY YOU CAN'T EVEN THINK OF." She starts every video on her insanely popular YouTube channel off by saying, "Hello all you cool cats and kittens," which is all the proof you need to know she's a psycho. It's a noise you want to get up and run away from. 

I suspect all that was enough to convince you she's a problem but if that didn't she KILLED HER HUSBAND FOR HIS MONEY AND FED HIM TO THEIR TIGERS (allegedly button). She was never charged but it is incredibly clear that's what happened. Don, her rich husband, had tried to file for a restraining order because she kept threatening to kill him but he wasn't granted it, so he gave the application to his secretary "in case anything ever happened to him." Two months later he disappeared and still hasn't been found. The morning of his disappearance Carole's car broke down at 3 AM "on her way to get milk for the cats" and a police officer (who just happened to be her brother) took her home. Carole claims she saw Don a few hours later, but he was never heard from again. Later, Carole broke into her husband's office and took his will. When she "found" it, it was a very different will that only gave his daughters mostly his debts and 10% of his estate. The rest was Carole's. The weirdest part of the new will? The opening line. Wills usually start "In the event of my death" but this one stated "In the event of my death or disappearance." Don's lawyer said he'd never seen anything like that in his 37 years of practice. With a disappearance you have to wait five years to have a person legally declared dead so you can open the will, Carole had Don declared dead after five years and a day.

She is the absolute worst. I'd say she's a criminal mastermind masquerading as a hippie but she's not even smart enough to get a mastermind tag, she's a fucking idiot who just happens to live in Florida. She's a banshee who you can somehow touch. But I think her arrogance will be her downfall. Doing this documentary was CRAZY. Her dead husband's case is still open and I think she's going to draw the attention of a bored podcaster who's gonna put her in a world of hurt, because she definitely killed that dude and I hope she goes down because there's something about her that is far too evil to be allowed to walk around in society. 

At least save her new husband, if you see them interact the man is clearly the victim of an abusive relationship. Their interactions somehow make it more clear than this screengrab and quote.