Barber Shops Shut Down? Only One Thing We Can Do Now...

Desperate times call for desperate measures, or, in this case, THE FLOWBEE.

For those who don't know, yes, the Flowbee is a real thing.

The Flowbee is an electrically powered vacuum cleaner attachment made for cutting hair. It was developed and filed for patent in 1986 by Rick E. Hunts, a San Diego, California carpenter. US patent 4679322 was granted in 1987 and the product marketed since 1988. Hunt initially sold the Flowbees out of his garage before finding success with live demonstrations at a county fair. The product was advertised as being capable of performing "hundreds of precision layered haircuts" in frequently aired late-night television infomercials. By 2000, two million Flowbees had been sold. (via Wikipedia)

For those who do know what it is, this is likely a blast from the past...

…or the present?

Need your fix of nostalgic old hair products after watching Flowbee videos? Well, let's turn it to Ron Popeil…

I can sum those videos up with one picture…

I think GHL by Ronco is my favorite infomercial product of all-time (just ahead of the Magic Bullet), simply because it is such a shocking thing to watch being used. Popeil could sell the shit out of anything. Honestly, he could sell a ziplock bag of shit on TV and probably make millions. But this probably will always blow me away.

How about this hair product…

I have seen barbers use products like this, but they're usually heavy-duty and not a cheap piece of plastic. This looks horrifying and as if will rip entires chunks of your hair out.

For those unaware, I get my haircut once a week. My hair grows like a fucking rug and when it starts touching my ears it becomes poofy and looks like complete trash. I also find it rather therapeutic, relaxing, and it's my best feature on camera to distract from my mediocre figure. Over time the cost of my haircut has now morphed into a $75 legend, it's not that expensive, but, with tip my haircut, skin fade, straight razor shave, and hot towel, my final total is usually around $60. You can find a good cheap haircut in New York City I am sure, but I have seen so many fucking bad haircuts that I will stick with my guy. This once-a-week tradition will obviously be changing…

…I am yet to figure out what I will do, but I guarantee you this: no Flowbee for me.