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Amidst The COVID-19 Chaos A Missouri Woman Gave Birth To a Baby Girl In The Toilet Paper Aisle Of a Walmart

USA Today

SPRINGFIELD, Mo.  — During a time of panic buying and store closures amid the coronavirus pandemic, one Walmart store in Springfield had some joyful news when a woman gave birth to a baby girl in the store.

Store manager Jessica Hinkle said the woman told employees Wednesday that her water broke and she was about to go into labor in the toilet paper aisle of the store. The woman’s name was not released.

Hinkle held up a sheet for privacy while a labor nurse who happened to be in the store and firefighters helped the woman deliver her baby in just 45 minutes, KYTV reported.

Alright I'll get right to the point and say what we're all thinking here....this baby is the answer to beating coronavirus. Like somewhere in her blood is the cure to COVID-19. That's how this works right? We've seen the movies. We're not misreading any of the signs. This is how we defeat the virus and restore order to the world.  

In the midst of chaos in our world a woman went to Walmart to buy some food and supplies only to give birth to her baby girl in the toilet paper aisle of all places. Even crazier was that there happened to be a labor nurse in the store at the time all of this was happening. There are no coincidences folks. 

Imagine walking into Walmart to go get some toilet paper or whatever and you see a woman deliver a fucking kid in the middle of the store? If I'm that person I'm turning right around, punting on the original mission, and heading straight to the liquor store. What a time to be alive. 

By the way thank god this happened in Missouri where people are mid-western nice and considerate. This happens in NYC and there's pure chaos. Straight up anarchy. You think an entire Walmart is stopping to help deliver this kid in New York? Go walk through a subway one time and you'll see homeless people jerking off with citizens and cops walking on by like nothing is happening. It's just different here. And by different I mean the worst. 

P.S. - I still have no idea how pregnancy works but if you're that far along why aren't you sending someone else/anyone else to do your shopping for you?