Barstool NY – Hands down, far and away, the worst movie theater candy in the world. Its almost like Nestle has the movie theater industry by the balls and somehow forces them to carry these pieces of shit for sale. Like have you ever seen Sno Caps anywhere outside of the movie theater? Better question…what the fuck is a NONPAREIL? These taste like pennies covered in bitter chocolate topped off with sidewalk rock salt.
So KFC wrote a blog yesterday about poor people Halloween candy. It was a decent list with one MAJOR fuckup. He somehow had snowcaps on there. AKA – Nonpareils. I was getting ready to rip him a new asshole and then Hank went and chopped off his finger and I had to go to the hospital. But I just can’t let it slide. Umm newsflash KFC, nonpareils are like the rolls Royce of candy. I have no idea why they sell snowcaps at the movies, but that doesn’t change the fact they are fancy shit for fancy people. Poor people can’t pronounce Nonpareil nevermind eat them. I mean they sell them next to cashews and pistachios in stores. They get put into candy baskets next to chocolate pretzels. They live on the candy equivalent of Park Avenue. So don’t tell me Nonpariels are poor people shit. They are the exact opposite. They Finer Things Club through and through. Just shocking to put this on the list. Almost invalidated the entire thing. Surprised he didn’t have Rolos on there as well.