The Best Story of The Weekend at FSU Was Definitely Dicky V Walking Into the Frat We Were At Uninvited And Taking A Dump

So as most people saw we were living the Frat Star life at FSU this weekend. “Cue the Pres you’re so fucking gay. Grow up old man. What a loser for going to FSU vs ND and partying like you’re in college. You suck. Now excuse me I got to wake up at 6am and go to my 9-5 accounting job” Anyway by far the highlight of the weekend was that on Saturday morning around noon Dickie V just came waltzing into the frat we were at dressed head to toe in ND gear and took a huge dump. Nobody invited him. Nobody even really noticed. Just walked directly into a multiple stall bathroom, locked the door and went hammertime, Then he walks out and just starts passing out presigned autographs. That’s literally how it went down. Such a power move I can’t even stand it. He also was wearing sneakers that said Dickie V on the tongue. I asked him about the sneakers and this is that conversation went.

Pres – “Hey Dickie V are those Dicky V sneakers?

Dickie V -“Yes.”   (I tried to walk away and he grabbed me by the wrist and pulled me close)

Dickie V – “I have them in 4 colors. They are very comfortable”

PS – My new move is handing out my signed baseball cards. I don’t care if people ask for them or even know who I am. If I make eye contact you’re getting a Davey Pageviews special.