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Miltons Pimp My Look





Time to reload the Miltons machine. Send all sob stories to or and help us help you. And you need to send pictures! If you sent an email without a picture resend with one to be considered.




Today’s Contestant


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Reader Email


Dear Miltons,

This is my friend Mike Hatch. At any given moment you can find Mike strutting his chicken legs around Hobart and the UMass campus wearing cargo shorts or gym shorts that look like capris, white midcalfs turned into knee socks, grimy flip flops, and an old t shirt with holes in it. Eleven times out of ten he has a pube forest on his face and smells like the underside of my nuts. Yet, he is a great kid and girls love him. When it comes to women, Mike is a lustful lion. The only thing is, he is not competing at the level that he should be. The thing that will propel this young, effervescent gentleman to the fruition of his potential is a wardrobe change. Please Miltons, help my friend Mike become a better Mike.
1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars6 Stars7 Stars8 Stars9 Stars10 Stars (134 votes, average: 2.46 out of 10)