For some reason the Colts signed Philip Rivers to a 1-year deal worth $25 mil on Tuesday.
The 38-year-old fiery vet will come to Indy to the Horse to a 9-8 season and leave Chris Ballard looking for a quarterback again, but that's not what this is about right now.
This is about Philip off the field.
There had been talks about if he didn't play for a Florida team that maybe he'd commute back and forth from an Indianapolis for example back to his fam.
Nope. The whole crew is coming according to NFL Network's Daniel Jeremiah.
All 11 Rivers spending a year together probably on the Northside of Indianapolis. Now, what does a family who started in rural North Carolina then spent the last 15 years in California do in central Indiana (once Coronavirus calms down of course)?
Here's 9 things for #17 and his off-field squad to keep in mind. This isn't a ranking - just 9 different options. Here ya go, Phil.
- Go to an Indianapolis Indians game: Nothing better than a summer evening at Victory Field. It's the best minor league ballpark in America. That's a fact. It's got something for everybody. If you go on Thursday you'll have "Thirsty Thursday" with most drinks being an incredibly affordable $3. Monday's are dollar hot dog nights which fits perfectly for your group. It's always a good opportunity for your coming-of-age kids to snap a trendy Instagram photo while the little ones want to play with the crowd favorite mascot Rowdy. Friday night brings fireworks after the game for the whole family, and I'm sure that the new quarterback would be invited to throw out the first pitch. "Rivers Rowdy Rally Towels" sounds like the perfect marketing campaign for a game, too.
- Segue Tour Around The Canal: Feeling risky? Take the kiddos out to White River State Park and give them the freedom to ride the segues around the canal. It's a great way to get this generation's kids off their ass while also still not making them move. They'll love it. I see an adorable duck line walk situation with you all leading the way and your ducklings riding behind you.
- Escape Room On Mass Ave: A perfect evening out to to build camaraderie and family chemistry. You'll have to split into groups of three (maybe four!), but it provides a fun-loving challenge to see which Rivers squad can escape the room first. Last place buys Goodfellas Pizza!
- CYO Summer Festivals: Get to know your new community and neighbors by drinking and gambling at your local Catholic school / church festival. Laughs will be had all around as the dads gather to pitch their son who plays quarterback in 4th grade to you while the moms judge the Mrs. like a group of high school girls. If your kids are lucky maybe they'll get to awkwardly ride the ferris wheel with their current crush in their newest hometown. Don't forget to say hey to Father Steve at the blackjack table!
- The world renowned Indianapolis Children's Museum: Speaks for itself.
- Top Golf (Fishers): Like I said, I'm sure you'll be living on the Northside of town. Go a little bit further and spend an afternoon at Top Golf. I recommend going to the top floor to rent your four bays out, but keep an eye on your littlest ones! One Happy Gilmore swing away from accidentally slipping into the net below. Phil, your competitive fire would fit perfectly here as there will be plenty of frat boys home from IU home for the summer ready to talk shit to you in the next bay over. Bet you can't outdrive a Sigma Chi, BRO! Now's your chance.
- Indianapolis Zoo: Think your house on a Saturday morning is like a zoo? Wait until you see the award-winning Indianapolis Zoo located in the heart of downtown! Heck you could even continue your segue tour by heading over to the zoo. Plenty of jokes to be had with your newest offensive lineman best friend Quenton Nelson. Send him a picture of an elephant with "At zoo w/ kids…didn't think I'd c u here LOL. Talk l8r dude" text attached. Classic.
- Connor Prairie: Head to Connor Prairie to take a step back in time and fun. It's all the experiences of 1836 with none of the joy you think that era would bring - especially for the kids! But be on the lookout, you just may see Andrew Luck there - or at least people who look like him.
- Indianapolis Motor Speedway: You strike me as a racing guy, Phil. Your name, your bolo ties, your twang, your desire to constantly want to get pissed off and in people's faces all scream race car driver. Right now I'd say maybe more NASCAR than IndyCar, but we do both here at IMS. You have to familiarize yourself with this place if you're going to be in Indy. Maybe you could even drive the pace car at this year's 500 God-willing it doesn't get postponed? Anyways, it's a place built for speed which will be an obvious adjustment for you. Go there and get used to it.
But here ya go, Rivers family. I've lived here my whole life so I know it well. Print it off, check them off, and welcome to Indy.