Barstool PSA: Only Chumps And Girls Carry Umbrellas

So I was going to work today and saw a dude carrying an umbrella with him. Total chump move. Like maybe I can understand if it’s raining out when you go outside, but planning for rain later in the day? Grow a set of balls dude. Rule #1 of life. Guys don’t worry about the rain. If it rains let it fucking rain. Let me get soaked. I don’t give a fuck. But I’m not carrying around an umbrella like Lady Feitleberg. And yes I asked Feitleberg if he carries and umbrella and he said he didn’t but I know he does. Such a Lady Feitleberg move. Don’t lie to me bro. I see right through you.