Colin Cowherd Coronavirus Analogies
Colin Cowherd lives to make analogies that somehow help explain his point better.
He truly is the king of the art.
One minute (most minutes) he'll be talking about the Cowboys roster then the next he'll be somehow connecting the dots between Jerry Jones' oil money and taking risks with trading Ezekiel Elliot.
How'd we get there?
No one ever really knows, but luckily I've been able to capture a bit of that with my impression of The Herd himself.
So I figured with the NFL league year continuing without pause and the virus happening at the same time, this week would be filled with absolute Cowherd gems in relating the effects of the pandemic to the sports world.
Somehow.
On coronavirus being too late for Baker Mayfield:
"You know who could have used this globally mandated quarantine, i don't know, like a year ago? Baker Mayfield…BUT COLINNN, HOW COULD YOU SAY THIS IS A GOOD THING? Oh, I'm sorry. You mean to tell me more time inside with a playbook, studying the system, staying out of the public eye and out of commercials would have been a BAD thing for Baker Mayfield? It would have been the perfect thing, but unfortunately for Baker and the Browns, just like people who haven't taken this thing seriously, it might be too late istherd"
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On the Texans trading DeAndre Hopkins:
"It's funny - in times of great stress like right now, people show you who they really are. You get laid off. You're struggling financially. You're facing a global pandemic. Are you coming home everyday and lashing out at the wife, kids? Or are you putting your nose to the grind, staying above water, and keeping the family afloat? Bill O'Brien just lashed out at the family and slammed the door on his way out. Yes, we're in the midst of a global pandemic, but that doesn't mean you panic and leave the family. Now is not the time for that. Kliff Kingsbury and the Cardinals just got the new job while the Texans are struggling to stay afloat estherd."
On the Colts trading for DeForest Buckner:
When you turn on the news and see you need to be quarantined for two+ weeks, what do you do? You don't see potential lockdown and say, "hey honey I'm gonna go to costco and pick up five cases of cupcakes and a keg of beer. You go to the store and stock up on bread, milk, water, toilet paper - the essentials.T hat's what Chris Ballard is doing in Indianapolis. DeForest Buckner, Quenton Nelson, that left tackle Costanza. What's his name? Castonzo - him. They're the bread and toilet paper. They are what you survive on. CeeDee Lamb, Jordan Love at 13? Sure, they seem fun at the beginning, but at the end of the day you aren't surviving off of cupcakes. Another great move by Ballard building sustained survival therd"
On Tom Brady's pending free agency decision:
"See - right now it's 'trendy' and 'risky' to go out to a bar, a restaurant, a large gathering. It's tempting. You see your friends on Instagram being 'lit' and having fun while they're out, and naturally you want to join in on it. Don't. Don't do it. The risk of the bad that could come doesn't even come close to the possible positives. Same goes for Tom Brady. He's sitting there with his supermodel wife, looking at all the rumors swirling online thinking about how nice it could be to feel wanted. Don't do it. Tampa Bay, Los Angeles - even though I think that could be the best fit - they're all the bar with the potential to contract the virus. New England is home. It's safe. It's your best bet. Stay home ttherd"
That last one probably should be a video.
Don't have much else to do.
Hit me with your best Cowherd analogies.