Please take a moment to appreciate the wonderful puns at the bottom of that flyer. They really milked it for all it was worth and I've got no beef with a good joke.
Ok, moving on...
Step aside, Florida Man. We've got Florida Cow on our hands. Er, out of our hands I guess.
From the Pembroke Pines PD Facebook page:
For several months a loose cow has been seen wandering in the area of Sheridan Street & I-75. It has managed to evade capture by both our officers & assisting cow herders since January, due to its surprising speed and amazing fence jumping skills. ???? ????
While the cow itself doesn't present a threat to the public, it has been known to enter roadways where it endangers itself and surrounding motorists.
If you know the owner of this cow, or if you know its current whereabouts, please contact the PPPD at 954-431-2200. ????
If you are driving and you observe the cow in or near the roadway, please decrease your speed and safely move to the next lane over.
Some of us couldn't outrun our out-of-shape campus security and this old cow is out here stuntin' on all of us. smdh. Really makes you think.
Hopefully when they do eventually nab her (sorry but go Cow, gooo!), it doesn't go like this: