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BREAKING: Tom Hanks Has Coronavirus!!!

Are we taking coronavirus seriously yet!?!?!? Seems like something out of a movie where they needed America to pay attention to a deadly virus and they casted Tom Hanks for it. But it's real. Not good!

He released a statement:

“Hello, folks.  Rita and I are down here in Australia.   We felt a bit tired, like we had colds, and some body aches.   Rita had some chills that came and went. Slight fevers too.  To play things right, as is needed in the world right now,  we were tested for the Coronavirus, and were found to be positive.

Well, now.  What to do next?  The Medical Officials have protocols that must be followed. We Hanks’ will be tested, observed, and isolated for as long as public health and safety requires.  Not much more to it than a one-day-at-a-time approach, no?

We’ll keep the world posted and updated.

Take care of yourselves!” – Tom Hanks

I assume work and everything else in the world is canceled until Tom Hanks is better. Coronavirus is NOT fucking around anymore. It targeted our national treasure and that is a declaration of war. Feel better Tom and Rita. We love you.



PS: Not saying he doesn't have it but it seems so perfect.  Like they sat down in a meeting and said “How do we get America to take this seriously?” and someone said “tell them Tom Hanks has it”. Would be an awesome movie where Tom Hanks could play himself, a beloved actor the United States government tells to pretend to have coronavirus to bring awareness to the virus because the country is too dumb to take it seriously otherwise.