Chick-Fil-A: Chick-fil-A announced today that it will begin selling its sauces in bottles as a pilot in Florida, marking the company’s first endeavor into retail sales and a new way to give back to Chick-fil-A restaurant Team Members. Starting this April and May, customers will be able to purchase 16-fluid ounce bottles of Chick-fil-A’s signature Chick-fil-A and Polynesian Sauces in all Florida Publix, Target, Walmart and Winn-Dixie stores so they can dip, drizzle and marinate to their delight, right at home.
To elevate the catering experience, Chick-fil-A customers in Florida will receive 8-ounce bottles of Chick-fil-A, Polynesian, Barbeque, Honey Mustard and Garden Herb Ranch Sauces with their catering order starting in mid-March. Sweet & Spicy Sriracha and Zesty Buffalo will still be available in individual packets. The 8-ounce Bottled Sauces are also available for purchase in participating restaurants.
I know everything it feels like everything we know and love is slowly being taken away by the Coronavirus. But Chick-Fil-A has arrived like the God-fearing white knight it is to save the day like it always does (unless that day begins with "Sun").
As much as I love Chick-Fil-A's food (Spicy Chicken Sandwich with Waffle Fries is my go-to order), remarkable cleanliness, and almost creepy super friendliness, it's the Chick-Fil-A Sauce that keeps my wide ass coming through the door. All the meat and carbs I order there are essentially just a vehicle for me to shove Chick-Fil-A Sauce in my mouth since it is the number 1 condiment in the game imho.
Which is why I love no longer having to ask for 100 extra Chick-Fil-A Sauce packets from the cashier that is too nice to say no or shaking my fist at a closed CFA because I am craving more liquid gold on the Lord's Day. Soon, I will be able to load up my entire pantry with the good stuff at the grocery store. Well as long as the pilot program in Florida is deemed a success.
The success of this pilot will help determine next steps for a possible nationwide rollout of Bottle Sauce retail sales later this year.
BAHAHAHA! Good one, Chick-Fil-A. I guarantee the good people of Florida will buy enough bottles of sauce to slather on chicken, beef, pork, maybe even human since it is Florida, in the first day to green light this program to the rest of the country. Especially since Chick-Fil-A isn't price gouging like the dickheads marking up hand sanitizer by a zillion percent.
Retail sales of the 16-ounce Bottled Sauces start at $3.49, and with every retail purchase of a Bottled Sauce, 100-percent of Chick-fil-A, Inc. profits will be donated to the Chick-fil-A Remarkable Futures Scholarship Initiative
Treeeeee fiddy for the best sauce on the planet and the proceeds are going to a scholarship fund?
God damn Good Lord Chick-Fil-A done did it again!
My favorite part of all this is that Chick-Fil-A is rolling out all the sauces together. Nothing breaks my heart more than a debate about which CFA Sauce is better because it's like debating which kid you love more. I'm personally a Chick-Fil-A Sauce guy while others prefer the Polynesian Sauce. Well both will be waiting for us in the Condiments & Dressing aisle of the grocery store so we can drown whatever shitty food we make at home in incredible sauces to make that food taste edible, which will be extremely useful if we hypothetically have a worldwide pandemic and are forced to quarantine ourselves in our homes.
With things like attending Opening Day and March Madness games seemingly on life support, I want to thank Chick-Fil-A for unveiling this news in the nick of time.
P.S. If you thought #SWISHSZN was glorious with brown mustard, wait til you show up to next year's Christmas/New Years/Super Bowl party with a 16 oz. bottle of deliciousness and win the whole name fiesta!