Coronavirus Update: Orgies and Smurf Parades Go on as Planned

As the world crawls on all fours, groping our way through the unknown of an epidemic that may or may not spread into a full blown pandemic, it's hard to know how much caution is too much. Ivy League universities are telling students to stay home, but grade schools are still open for tens of millions of children. Cities like Dublin and Boston have canceled the high holy day celebration that is their St. Patrick's Day parades, but sporting events are still selling out. The entire nation of Italy is in lockdown but others have no travel restrictions. Basically we are making this up as we go. 

So in this semi-chaos, it's comforting to know that some of our most respected leaders are going ahead with business as usual, carrying on with important cultural traditions.

Source - EXCLUSIVE orgies for the mega-rich will go ahead despite the spiralling coronavirus crisis - but the organizers have promised to lay on extra soap.

Notorious club Snctm - reputed to attract A-list celebs and tycoons - has a sex party in LA this Saturday and another booked for Manhattan on April 11.

And the club - which originated in Beverly Hills and costs up to $900,000 for membership - vows it will not let the outbreak ruin its x-rated activities.

One party organizer told the New York Post: "Snctm events are going on as planned.

“The company is going through the appropriate measures to sanitize the venues, screening those who plan on attending and supplying extra soap and sanitizer.

Source - The mayor of a small French town on Tuesday defended hosting a record-breaking gathering of 3,500 people dressed as Smurfs at the weekend, after accusations that the event increased the risks of spreading the coronavirus.

"We must not stop living… it was the chance to say that we are alive," mayor Patrick Leclerc of Landerneau in western France told AFP. …

Fans of the hit Belgian cartoon about a colony of blue human-like creatures living in houses shaped like mushrooms descended on Saturday on the Breton town to break the world record for a gathering of Smurfs.

Leclerc insisted that the revellers, who painted their hands and faces blue and sported white pointy hats, had violated no ban and were a necessary antidote to an "ambient gloom".

Thank you, Snctm. And thank you, Smurf fans of Landerneau. You people are living proof that, no matter how powerful a virus may be, there is no force on Earth that can match the human spirit. 

Let other people do the Corona handshake or avoid human contact altogether. The Snctm members didn't spend 900 grand to cower in fear over a little thing like a contagious disease. The orgy must go on. Bodies will be intertwined. Stranger's bodily fluids will be exchanged. You want to avoid putting your hands to your face? That's all well and good. But in LA this weekend, faces will be touched by genitalia as per the plan. Lots and lots of genitalia. 

Let other people stay home and self-quarantine. Is life really worth living if you can't get together with your fellow Smurf-philes, paint yourself blue and replace every other word with "Smurf"? If these people aren't going to gather in record numbers and share their common love of Smurf culture, what's the point of surviving? Papa Smurf, Grouchy Smurf and Smurfette aren't going to honor themselves, after all. 

Reading the stories of these bold, indomitable souls, I'm reminded of the story of the guy who attempted to climb Everest without oxygen, and almost perished. As he was recovering in the hospital, someone asked why he would go up there to die. "I didn't go up there to die," he replied. "I went up there to live." Hear, hear. 

Thanks again to the Smurf fans and Mayor Leclerc. And to the good people of Sntcm, have a wonderful time at the orgy.