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Woman Steals Neighbor's Model Skeleton After He Positioned It To Be Constantly Giving Her The Middle Finger, Now Faces Larceny Charges


CUYAMUNGUE, N.M. (AP) — A New Mexico woman is facing a larceny charge after authorities say she stole a neighbor’s anatomical skeleton model that allegedly was making an offensive gesture toward her. 

Court documents filed Monday show that Diana Hogrebe was charged with one count of larceny in connection with the skeleton heist, the Santa Fe New Mexican reports.

Hogrebe of Cuyamungue, New Mexico, told Santa Fe County Sheriff’s deputies she was offended by the way the skeleton’s hand was posed — with the middle finger pointed up.

Ahh, the middle finger. Something so minuscule that - for some reason - people take so seriously. It never really made sense to me to be quite honest. Never understood how people could get so worked up over someone simply raising their finger. There's no difference between me raising my pointer finger or my ring finger! People just need to stop making everything into such a big deal and just be a little realistic, one time.

I also get an odd rush of nostalgia from this story. Not because I would set up a skeleton model in a manner that purposefully pissed off my neighbor; rather I would constantly do it in the classroom. I borderline had a problem, thinking back on it. 

Anytime I saw one of those skeleton cocksuckers in a science class it was an instant middle finger. No hesitation. Mostly because the science teachers at my high school/middle school were notoriously late so I'd have free reign to do what I wanted to thing before they showed up. They never suspected it was me, they always managed to blame this one trouble kid... idiots.

Hogrebe told the Santa Fe New Mexican the episode was the culmination of a monthslong feud between her and neighbor Joseph Downs, who she said has hassled her family and other nearby residents.

“I just, you know, had it,” Hogrebe said. “It was like the last straw that broke the camel’s back, and I don’t know what to do.”

I've always wanted a neighborly feud. It's not something I'd like per se - I'm not a confrontational guy - but I've always wanted to wake up with a reason to hate my neighbor. Not on an extreme level though. I want a casual, petty hatred for my neighbor over something incredibly small. Is that too much to ask? I just want to be able to unleash a Dennis Reynolds-esque rant onto a neighbor that has no idea what I'm talking about.

Now this Joseph Downs character is a different story. Nobody wants an asshole neighbor. You know, the type of neighbor who seemingly lives their life to ruin yours. From the article, this guy seems like the definition of an asshole neighbor. He was doing shit like playing his music absurdly loud and firing off propane canons. Just being the most inconvenient human of all time. 

It's actually kind of funny that this was the final straw. A model skeleton slipping her off. I probably would've snapped at the propane cannon but hey, different strokes for different folks.

The skeleton has not been located, authorities said.

According to the deputy’s statement of probable cause, the skeleton was a gift to Downs from a family member and was worth about $1,500.

Maybe stealing the skeleton wasn't the best solution. She only got herself in more trouble. Also, I absolutely refuse to believe that the model was $1,500. No chance at all. You can definitely snag one of those for like a hundred bucks on amazon. 

Regardless, it was a bonehead (pun very much intended) move to steal the skeleton. All she did was make herself the bad guy in the situation. She also has to deal with larceny charges. While the charges aren't gonna be massive, it's such an inconvenience to have to go through all of it. I would rather deal with the loud music in all honesty.