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Inquiring Minds Want To Know: Will Your Pet Cat Eat Your Dead Body

(source)--A recent paper out of the Forensic Investigation Research Station at Colorado Mesa University. While conducting a study on body decomposition, in separate incidents, forensic researchers unintentionally captured footage of two feral cats feasting on human corpses. Interestingly, the cats picked favorites, each returning to their preferred body multiple times over the course of several weeks.

“We have this kind of morbid curiosity about what our cats might do to us given the opportunity,” says Dr. Mikel Delgado, a cat behavior specialist at UC Davis who was not involved in the research. “Would they kill us? Would they snack on our dead body? And I think that's why people kind of latched onto this particular research, is that it's morbidly fascinating.”

Will your cat eat your dead body?

Yes. Of course it fucking will. It's a cat. Every cat on the world was born to just be a dickhead and murder other animals for fun. Look at the gif at the top of the page. That cat tried to murder it's best friend in cold blood just to be a dick. They're genetically predisposed to be killing machines and they wouldn't think twice about eating you after you're dead. And if you're sitting there thinking to yourself "Not my cat! Not Ms Jenifurr Aniston. She's so sweet. She loves me and cuddles me all the time". If your cat seems nice to you that's just because it's plotting and dreaming about the right opportunity to sneak up and trip you as you're going down the stairs so it can snack on your dead/paralyzed body. Your cat is literally thinking about that right now as it bats an innocent little robin chick back and forth across the floor. It wishes that dead bird were you. Your cat being nice is just because it's a pussy, no pun intended. First chance it gets you're dead. If you don't realize that it's just because they've poisoned your brain. Not a metaphor. Your cat, has used chemical and biological warfare against you and infected your brain with something called toxoplasmosis. It's a parasite that goes in your brain because you allowed the cat to shit in a box in your house, which they didn't even say thank you for because they're assholes. So yeah, your cat, according to science and just 60,000 years of evidence, will absolutely eat your dead body and they'll enjoy it.