This Kayaker Getting Attacked By A Beaver In NY Is Fascinating Stuff

First things first. Who the hell takes a Kayak lesson? That’s a real thing? I understand renting a kayak, but actually taking a lesson on how to do it? No wonder the beaver attacked him. He smelled weakness a mile away. Like grow up dude. Just fucking paddle.

Anyway 3 things struck me besides that with this story.

#1 – This beaver is FUCKING HUGE. Looks like a god damn grizzly bear.

#2. – Is this the hat this kayak instructor wears at all times or did he know he was getting interviewed? He looks like he should be at Burning Man or something and frankly I don’t even really know how people dress at Burning Man but this is probably it. Either that or he just lives in the woods. Strangest Kayak Instructor hat/beard combo in the game.

#3 – This reporter is such a classic squid I can’t even stand it. I’d say 83% chance he’s a Stoolie. Only a Stoolie would get stuck on this story and look like he does and be from Rochester. Classic squid look.

PS – How about the lack of respect for the beaver population.  You got a grizzly bear beaver pulling mofos out of their kayak and people are right back at it just kayak’ing around like it never happened.  Don’t cry to me when somebody else gets pulled under.  Watch Jaws the Revenge 1 time for me.