The Boston Tickle Monster Has Struck Again!
(Source) – The masked man known as the “Boston Tickler” has allegedly tickled more feet. According to a Boston Globe report, police are investigating whether a man wearing a ski mask who broke into three apartments early this morning in the Brighton area of Boston, is the infamous “Boston Tickler.” “My roommate woke up to a tickling on his foot,” David C. Master told the Globe. “He thought it was a cat at first. He woke up, and there was a man crouched by his bed. He started yelling and the man ran out. I woke up and saw [the masked man] run by my door.” According to the students, the man broke into the unlocked apartment without stealing anything and was chased out after Master’s roommate was awoken by tickles.
People who get “attacked” by this guy have to just laugh it off, right? Aw shucks, I got tickle monstered! Because at this point it’s funny. This guy is running around Brighton wreaking havoc and is a ghost. Can’t be caught. It’s like an honor to get got by him. He’s a legend of the tickling game and now it’s just a story to tell the grandkids. I used to sit around the fire and listen to gramps tell us the hardships of the Great Depression or WWII or whatever (I wasn’t really paying attention), their grandkids will hear how difficult it was to sleep in Boston during the summer of 2014 when you thought a gay, black, foot fetishist might break into your house and tickle you at any moment. (It’s just accepted that he’s gay, right? No other reason to tickle exclusively dude feet. Dude feet are so fucking gross)
PS – I hope the Tickle Monster never gets caught. I hope he just stops like the Zodiac and 50 years from now we’re wondering what happened to him. Hope he becomes this Boston urban legend that they talk about on campus at BC for centuries to come.