Cue the Duckboats | Championship Collection for Banner 18SHOP NOW

Advertisement

Apply Even The Slightest Bit Of Pressure To Yankees Fans And They Fold Like A Bad Hand

This is what you have to do with these people. And by "these people" I mean Yankees fans. 24/7, 365. Actually this year it's 366. We're lucky enough to get an extra day to hate these fucking people this year, we are truly blessed. But this is exactly how you've gotta handle these "My dad is a lawyer!" in the face ass cowards. Apply the pressure and watch them crumble like graham crackers in a second graders lunch box. This guy wanted to heckle and Dr. AssBurger wanted to talk facts. The second facts were brought into the equation it was all "Security! Don't record me bro! Who even really knows what was going on???" This is the point I've maintained throughout this entire scandal. It's hard for me to take a side where these people are the ones who were supposedly wronged in the process of the Astros stealing signs. Spare me the drivel of "Oh what about the AAA pitcher who never got another chance in the Bigs!" That guy does not exist. You know who does? This jamoke with the fresh Aaron Judge jersey and the shitty Spring Training seats. That's who was "hurt" by the Astros stealing signs. I do not feel bad for these people and frankly it's appalling that anyone does. We need more heroes like Dr. AssBurger sonning these fools publicly and frequently until they no longer feel emboldened. The Yankees were a once proud organization who didn't cry when other franchises cheated, they just stacked rings and laughed in everyone else's faces. Now they call security and security kicks them out for being cry babies. What a fall from grace. Something you truly hate to see.