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Here Are 6 Times I Was A Stronger Man Than Bron Bron Could Ever Hope To Be

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Let me start this blog by saying I don’t deny that Bron Bron is a great basketball player. I don’t deny that he’d crush me 11-2 in a game of one on one. He’s an alltime great. I get it. He was blessed with unreal god given talent but he has zero heart and zero courage and last night he proved it yet again. So in honor of Crampgate here are 6 time that I was a bigger man than he could ever hope to be.

Sidenote – I know people are going to tell me to get over myself, but this blog isn’t about me. It’s about how much of a coward Bron Bron is. Nothing illustrates it more than a blogger proving he has more heart, courage and competitive spirit in his pinky toe than Bron Bron does in his entire body.

 

6. Backstrum Challenge

 

Fresh off a broken neck that showed no signs of healing I went out and shattered the Backstrum Challenge. Literally couldn’t even turn my head to see the net.

 

5. Arm Wrestling With Dislocated Shoulder

 

I have the worst shoulders on the planet. If I sneeze I dislocate them. I’m sure everybody is like “how the hell  have I been reading Barstool for 3 years and not know Pres had bum shoulders?”  Well it’s because I don’t make a show of it. It’s because nobody likes guys who make excuse. Just go out there and perform. That’s what I do. But bottomline is I had no business competing in this event with professional arm wrestlers. Not with the condition my shoulders are in. I honestly could have paralyzed myself for life. Didn’t care.  #justdoit #playlikeachampion #noexcuses

 

4. Blogged Through A Heart Attack

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How many guys play through a heart attack without a second thought?  Because that’s exactly what I did.  I literally asked the doctor for a computer mid heart attack so I could blog it. Was I worried about dying? Yeah sure I was, but the blog doesn’t sleep. Not even for heart attacks.  It’s my job. I owe it to the paying customer never to let up.  Not even on my death bed.  Lebron apparently doesn’t prescribe to that theory.

 

3. Receiving Punts With Broken Neck

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I literally couldn’t move my head at all during this competition.  Little things like blinking caused excruciating pain yet I still went and laid it all on the line. At one point I dove so my entire body weight was on my neck and basically crippled myself for the next 6 months. Didn’t hear me say a peep about it. Just willed myself to finish

 

2. Plunge For Pete With 104 Fever

I probably should have been in the hospital hooked up to IV’sduring Plunge for Pete. Had a 104 fever. Couldn’t even see straight.  But I said I was gonna be there so I was there. And then to top it off I Plunged twice just to prove a point. Jordan Flu Game times infinity.

 

1. Spartan Race

 

Spartan Race is for the toughest motherfuckers on earth. You need to be in peak physical condition to even think about stepping on the course nevermind finishing. I ran it with a torn hamstring. Lebron sat out with cramps. Enough said.  Hero shit plain and simple.  Pain heals. Chicks dig scars. Glory lasts forever.