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Australia Considering Changing Time Zones To Avoid TV Spoilers


Time.com – The Australian government is considering changing South Australia’s time zone to align with the clocks of either Western Australia or the country’s eastern states. “South Australia’s half-hour time difference to the eastern states and 90-minute difference to Western Australia can cause confusion across the spectrum of our daily lives—from sporting fixtures to public-service administration and business transactions,” South Australia Premier Jay Weatherill said in comments reported by theWall Street Journal. But there’s another reason the government thinks the change might be a good move: avoiding TV spoilers. “Most of us have a story about spoilers—like hearing the winner of MasterChef from an interstate friend just as the finale is getting interesting on our local TV station,”reads a government website calling for citizen input. “It puts us adrift of most other Australians.” The region’s television industry is already on board. South Australia’s networks have turned in a joint statement in support of aligning with the eastern states, highlighting “the benefits of up to the minute national news and current affairs, and live social media interaction with popular programs,” according to Investment and Trade Minister Martin Hamilton-Smith. Yes, the future of Australian time zones could just come down to live-tweeting.

Good to see Australia has its priorities in order. The Continent of Convicts calling government meetings to adjust the half the country’s time zone so that the Red Wedding is spoiled for the entire West Coast. The government is by the people for the people, and what is most important to people? Their TV shows. You can spit in a persons face or hit their kid and they wont get as mad as they would when you tell them what happened on the latest season of House of Cards. Everybody knows that big budget issues and taxes and health care and shit cant really be fixed. No matter what you do as a country in those departments there’s gonna be people who have problems with your decision. But uniting your nation into one cooperative time zone – now thats something that can actually benefit your country. Thats something the entire population will enjoy. Give the people what they want! All Sunday night HBO shows start at the same time!

PS – Full disclosure, I think spoiler complaining has now reached the opposite end of the spectrum. The pendulum has swung the other direction for me. Spoiler complainers are almost as bad as the people who spoil things themselves. Last week when House of Cards dropped I tweeted out a couple things like “Frank Underwood is delivering some serious one liners in Season 3 of House of Cards.” “That scene in the Church was great.” And people were responding like “You fucking FAGGOT you would be the type to spoil this for everyone.” “Fuck you dont ruin this for me!” Like completely generic, non-spoiler tweets and people were acting like I told them what happens to Frank Underwood’s presidency or something. Imagine if that happened in real life? If you were talking with someone face to face and they were like “Season 3 of House of Cards is really great” and your response was “Go fuck yourself! Stop spoiling it for me!” Not everything is a spoiler, folks. The world does not stop and start at your convenience. Stop being children.