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The Selfish Jerk In 13A Fully Reclined His Seat, Destroying My Laptop

There was a time when I had a working laptop, but that was a long time ago, before the selfish bastard in 13A decided to fully recline his seat and castrate my livelihood. 

I am currently on a Delta flight from Austin to Los Angeles trying to avoid Coronavirus so I can finally realize my lifelong dream of getting hammered at The Magic Castle. For those of you who don’t know the Magic Castle is a literal castle and members-only magician’s clubhouse in LA, they have rooms for traveling magicians to stay (and sometimes kill themselves) so you know it’s good. Check it HERE

You have to wear a tie - which I bought for the occasion. It’s also where Duran Durn held their 1984 press conference for their Sing Blue Silver Tour 

And most importantly you can get drunk there and get within feet of magicians in their natural habitat.

Anyway, there I was photoshopping a Candidate-Palm-Card for @HardFactorMark to help spread the word about his campaign to become the new CoronaVirusCzar

And this piece of shit in seat 13A thought he would stretch his legs a bit and he reclined his seat completely destroying my laptop. 

YOU NEVER FULLY RECLINE. It’s rude and a sign of sociopathy 

I guess the genius engineers at Delta didn’t consider that anyone would ever be using their seat back tray to hold a 16inch MacBook Pro while designing sick fake political ads. 

As soon as the leisurely bastard in front of me leaned back my computer screen folded like a taco. 

To make matters worse the flight attendant came over to tell me that the guy sitting in front of me “needs to be able to recline his seat” and then asked him if “he was okay?” completely ignoring  the fact that the thing I use to podcast and lose money gambling had be decimated. 

She’s lucky I took an edible before this flight or things may have ended up like this:

Now my only recourse is to angrily stare at the back of the head of the guy that temporarily took multiple-tab-internet-porn-browsing from me and to tweet at Delta.

It seems that the threats of bringing in Big Cat on this matter got to the brass at Delta… 

…because they got back to my original tweet complainant about my computer with a link to a form where I can file a complaint. 

I have my doubts about Delta coming through so as an instance policy I am working on snatching the guy in 13A’s computer. An eye for an eye.