The Girl Scouts Cookie Oven Is The Best Idea I Have Heard In Years



Huffington Post- A new functional toy called the Girl Scouts Cookie Oven lets you make your own Girl Scouts cookies in the comfort of your own home. According to the Wicked Cool Toys press release, the oven will hit mass market retailers starting in Fall 2015. Cookie coveters will have the opportunity to bake classics like Thin Mints, Trefoils, Chocolate Peanut Butter, Coconut Caramel, Chocolate Chip, Sugar, Oatmeal and PB Sandwich.

The toy works similarly to an Easy Bake Oven, with a kid-safe heat source and a viewing window so bakers can watch their cookies rise. The oven retails for $59.99 and assorted retail packs range from $6.99 to $14.99. A standard box of Girl Scouts Cookies typically costs about $5, so consumers will have to decide if year-round cookie access is a worthy investment.


First we had Girl Scout Cookie flavored ice cream, then the ability to order Girl Scout Cookies online, and now this?  It seems like the Girl Scouts are just killing it in the 21st century.  I love this idea with all my heart.  The biggest problem with Girl Scout Cookies is that they only be bought at a certain time of the year and you need to know a girl scout in order to buy them.  But now you can just buy this oven and start pumping out Samoas by the baker’s dozen.

And while some people may find it childish or girly to own what amounts to an Easy Bake Oven, there is nothing childish or girly about blacking out from eating so many Girl Scout Cookies.  In fact, that could be considered the modern day American dream.  Plus, I have never had raw cookie dough for any of the Girl Scout Cookie flavors, but I bet it is somehow even better than chocolate chip cookie dough.  And don’t talk to me about salmonella or any diseases you can get from eating raw cookie dough.  That is false propaganda being served by women around the world that don’t want their boyfriends/husbands to get into the batter and truly enjoy life.

However, I noticed the Girl Scouts didn’t give any type of price break, charging $60 for an oven that is powered by a tiny light bulb and $7-15 per box of mix.  But I guess you can just bake the cookies for yourself and sell some extras on the side.  Undercut the living shit out of the scouts.  These girls need to learn just how ruthless life can be in the cutthroat business world. I still don’t understand why Tom Green’s Undercutters business failed, other than the crazy neighbor that wanted to kill him.



And just a brief reminder of the only correct Top 3 rankings for Girl Scout Cookies:


3. Thin Mints: The Kobe Bryant of Girl Scout cookies.  Both have been around forever and have a ton of fan fare.  But their reputations these days are better than their actual performance.  Putting Thin Mints in the freezer is like Kobe getting his blood doctored in Germany.  It helps for a short time, but they will never be the best again.


2. Tagalongs: These things are the clear #2 and are peanut buttery smooth like Kevin Durant.  But they miss that extra gear to put them over the top.


1. Samoas: Caramel, chocolate, and coconut on a cookie is the complete package.  Samoas are like LeBron James.  They are the best around and any debate trying to prove otherwise is just hating on the king.