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The Cops Should Really Just Let You Go If You Get Caught Stealing Condoms And Chicken Wings

Source - A man is charged in Eau Claire County after being accused of stealing condoms and chicken wings from the Eau Claire Walmart.

Court documents show Andrew Jackson, 38, has been charged with misdemeanor retail theft – intentionally take (<$500).< em>

The criminal complaint says on Feb. 20, a loss prevention worker at Walmart saw Jackson grab several boxes of Trojan condoms and empty them into a fast food bag and then continue to walk to the deli area. The worker said when in the deli area, Jackson took a container of chicken wings and began to eat them as he walked out of the store.

There is plenty of evil in this world. Lotta bad folks doing a lotta bad things. But my guy over here grabbing a pack of dong bags and scarfing down a few mid-shop wings? C'mon...that sounds like he's got himself a Grade A night ahead of him. He's not doing any harm to anybody besides potentially blowing out a back, ya know? And Walmart is worth billions of dollars. You really think their bottom line is going to be hurting after losing a box of condoms and a pound of wings? Not a chance. Can't we just come up with a Robin Hood law here where you're occasionally allowed to take a thing or two from places like Walmart?

But all I'm seeing here is a man who wanted to enjoy some chicken wings and practice safe sex. If that's against the law then call me Jesse James. Would the cops have preferred for this fella to not steal the cock socks and just go out there raw doggin'? Seems to me like that's not the right lesson they outta be teaching here. The man wanted to be responsible whilst getting his nut on, and also knew the importance of never banging on an empty stomach. But sure, let's just go around arresting all the heroes in the world.