Surviving Barstool S4 Ep. 2 | No One is Safe With Survival at StakeWATCH NOW

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Ah Jeez. There Goes Kevin Hayes Just Being The Best Hockey Player In The World Again

I mean...c'mon, man. Doesn't this guy ever get sick of it? 2 goals and an assist on the way to leading the Flyers to their 4th straight win. Hasn't he already made everyone who called his contract an overpayment look like some extra large orders of idiot brains? Now it's just getting to the point where it's rude. These folks already know they're a bunch of idiots for ever once questioning this signing. They've already been rushing to delete all the tweets bitching and complaining about the $7.142M price tag. But Kevin Hayes is relentless in his efforts to make them feel worse and worse about it with each passing game that goes by. Harsh, but fair. 

And speaking of harsh, it is going to be absolutely miserable for teams to have to figure out a way to play against this Laughton/Hayes/Konecny line because LORDY...

Confirmed: the boys are buzzing like they've never buzzed before. 

That entire sequence there was a work of art. You've got Laughton battling with Burns, Hayes picks up the loose puck, bullies whoever Alexander True is and bodies him off the puck, Konecny to Laughton, Laughton to Hayes, Hayes to the back of the net. That's the definition of Hard Dick Hockey, my friends. Fully torqued right there. Maximum torqued. 

And if they're not stuffing your tendy full of rubber, they're annoying the shit out of you every time you're on the ice. Granted, I think Scott Laughton has said roughly 8 words since he got into the NHL and at least 7 of them have been directed towards Brady Tkachuk. But Konecny and Hayes? Neither of those beauties ever shut the fuck up. Their mouths are constantly running out there on full throttle. Chirp Fest here. Dangle Fest there. By the time you're done playing against these guys you'll be begging for a bullet in your brain to end it all. First there was the Legion of Doom. Then there was the Legion of Poon. Now we've got the Legion of Toon because these guys are a bunch of characters. (Please do not actually call them that. That nickname sucks. We'll think of something better at a later date). 

P.S. - When a fresh batch of Sizzli's come out at Wawa. 

@BarstoolJordie