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Grading the Newest Sex Scandal Teacher

Accused: Ellen Niemiec, pictured, allegedly slept with three of her students on the same night

South CarolinaA 29-year-old teacher has been accused of having sex with three of her students on the same night. Ellen Niemiec is alleged to have romped with the students during a house party last month… While the charges relate to a single night, the attorney for the victims said there were multiple acts… ‘It started off with kind of sexual talk and it ended up dirty talk and then it ended up texting pictures and it’s our understanding that this teacher had, would have sexual talks with her class on numerous occasions,’ said Mike Bosnak. ‘And it escalated from that into, you know, actual physical, the physical part of this.’

AndNiemic, a 29-year-old who is married with three young children, faces charges of sexual battery, two of them criminal charges, because two of the students were aged 17. The third was 18. “It started with dirty talk, then they were texting. She was texting nude pictures and that kind of stuff. Then just from there, it just went on. Some of it took place at the school. She also was picking one of them up in the morning and had sex with him in the morning and then in the afternoon,” [Bosnak said].

I don’t know why these kids need to lawyer up.  Unless by some bizarre circumstance they start making it a crime for a schoolboy to start boning crazy older women and not just the other way around.  Which would not only be immoral and unAmerican but would probably violate 9 of the 10 Bill of Rights.  I mean, why live in a country that doesn’t value the free exercise of your right to say “Yes” when your teacher asks you to put parts of you into the fun parts of her?  I have to think this is just the legal profession’s way to glom onto the hottest trend in American society and make a fast buck off of it.  What exactly do they need Atty. Mike Bosnak for anyway?  To be their spokesman?  Isn’t Twitter good enough to brag about boning your teacher anymore?  Now you need to hire Saul Goodman to go in front of the TV cameras to brag about your conquest?  Besides, he didn’t even do it right.  One minute he saying there were texts and it all happened in a single night at a houseparty and the next he’s contradicting himself with there were nude texts and Ellen gave the kid an eyeopener at in her car.  Whatever they’re paying this schiester to screw their awesome SST story, they’re getting ripped off.  All you kids out there, if you want your story told the right way, so you can be a hero to your classmates and never have to pay for your cafeteria lunch again, you bring it to the man who knows how to tell a Sex Scandal Teacher story.  You know where to find me.

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The Grades:
Looks: 
Andy Milonakis. Grade: D+
Moral Compass/Bad Judgment: 
It’s hard to find any more heart, dedication and desire in a SST than doing three kids in one night at a houseparty.  The morning pickup thing is just the sprinkles on the ice cream.  A well deserved Grade: A
Intangibles:
I can’t get it out of my head that her name is E. Niemiec.  It’s like a Batman villain name if Gotham was threatened by a lazy, sickly lady with low blood sugar and no energy.  Grade: A
Overall:
B-
[Thanks to my man and yours, Rear Admiral. The Milonakis thing was his.  Spot on.] Have information about a hot female teacher having sex with her students? Preferably with pictures? Help make the world safe for Teacher Sex Scandals by Tweeting me @jerrythornton1