Does This Look Like the Face of Former Caps Goalie Semyon Varlamov Who Turned Himself In For Domestic Violence And Kidnapping?

USA Today – Colorado Avalanche goalie Semyon Varlamov turned himself in Wednesday night to Denver Police detectives for domestic violence related charges. According to DPD information officer Sgt. Steve Warneke, the arrest stems from a conflict Tuesday, and an arrest warrant was issued. Varlamov has been charged with third-degree assault and second-degree kidnapping. The kidnapping is a class 4 felony and the assault is a class 1 misdemeanor, Warneke said. Varlamov, 25, has led the Avalanche to a 10-1 start and is 7-1 in the games he has started. He has played in the NHL for five seasons, and the Avalanche picked him up in July 2011 after a trade with the Washington Capitals.

Classic Russian mistake. He forgot he wasn’t in the wild wild west anymore. Silly Varly, can’t just go around Colorado kidnapping people, this isn’t the movies, even if you dress the part to a tee. Seriously bro, looks like you just jumped off the set of Taken 3 with that wardrobe. Is it safe to say Varlamov has Putin on speed dial? 100% lock that Sportscenter commercial where he and Ovi joked about being Russian spies wasn’t a joke at all.

I guess what this story really shows is pro athletes hate their chicks just as much as the rest of us. Making millions of dollars and being the star goalie on a first place team doesn’t matter when you have a broad that you can’t fucking stand.