NBC - Police in central Pennsylvania say they found a suspected groper of a fast-food worker by following a trail of curly fries. It started when a female employee at an Arby’s in East Lampeter Township, Lancaster County, called police Wednesday night saying she was groped by a man as she handed over his order at the drive-thru window. The employee gave police a description of the car, which was found outside a motel less than a mile away. Authorities said they spotted a trail of Arby’s curly fries and sauce from the vehicle to the room of 36-year-old James Cowan of Fitzgerald, Ga.
Fuck, this is a tricky case. On one hand, impossible to blame the guy for getting turned on while waiting for his Arby’s order. No chance he meant to grope the woman, he was simply chubbed up thinking about his curly fries and roast beef sandwiches. It’s just like how when you’re drunk and you take home the slightly porky ginger from Cornerstone, same goes for when you are getting your Arby’s. Sometimes you just gotta grab a titty and deal with the consequences later.
But on the other hand, the fuck is he doing dropping curly fries all over the damn place like you can just pop into any old corner store and get a new batch of curly fries? Now, I assume what happened was he was stuffing them down his gullet before going into the motel room to finish the job, but you have got to be more careful than that. We’re all guilty of it at some point or another, but leaving a trail of curly fries and ketchup is a surefire way to land yourself in lockup.
PS: Vote 2 for curly fry, 4 for waffle fry, 6 for tater tot, 8 for steak fry, 10 for classic Mcdonalds fry.