Apparently I'm The Crazy One For Brushing My Teeth Before I Eat Breakfast?

“@slanouette33: Breakfast is always ruined when you brush your teeth first.” @BarstoolNate see bro?

— Christian (@delihands) October 22, 2013

So a couple weeks ago, right when I first started with Barstool, I wrote a blog saying I brush my teeth before I eat breakfast. Ever since then I’ve been getting chirped every day on Twitter and through email by Stoolies saying how wrong I am about my dental hygiene. I thought I was in the majority when I said that. I thought everyone was going to be internet high-fiving me and calling people who don’t brush til after breakfast complete idiots. Apparently I was wrong, and I do not understand how it’s possible.

Brushing before breakfast only makes 100% more sense than brushing after. Morning breath and that weird plaque gunk build up that happens overnight is the worst. Why would you want to eat delicious pancakes with that shit in your mouth? Stay with me here: The move is to wake up, brush, then rinse your mouth with water. That way you can properly enjoy your breakfast without the tingling from the toothpaste. I’m not saying it’s rocket science, but I’m not saying it’s not.

Eating with a mouth full of day old germs and breath that smells like it just walked out of a Miley Cyrus video is not the best way to enjoy the most important meal of the day. You brush, eat, and then use toothpick after to get any remaining remnants of food out of your teeth.

I’m not here to fight with you guys over this, as I am a man of the people. If brushing after eating is the way to go, I will try it out. So vote 1 for brush before eating like a dignified person, vote 10 for not brushing until after eating like some sort of savage.

(944 votes, average: 5.36 out of 10)

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