NY Post – These booties are ahead of the curve! Dozens of well-endowed women flaunted their big assets in Chelsea Saturday in a contest seeking to crown New York’s best butt. A total of 68 ladies — some naturally “gifted,” others who toil at the gym — faced off for a $2,000 cash prize and modeling gig at Drift Studio, contestants said. “My butt is so soft, which makes it the best butt. People I’ve been intimate with tell me it’s voluptuous,” boasted Brenda Monks, 21, a model and dancer from Washington Heights. “All those compliments went to my head, and that’s why I’m here — to steal the win!” Women at the “casting call” — mostly aspiring actresses and dancers from around the state — stuck it out as judges peppered them with questions about why their bottoms were the tops. Each had plenty of cheeky answers — from, “The tighter the better,” to, “I don’t even work out.” “Every once in a while, I catch glimpses in the mirror and notice how nice it is to have a small waist with a big butt. It’s important to me!” said Chelsea Simone, a 24-year-old personal trainer.
Lets break down the contestants:
My butt is so soft, which makes it the best butt. People I’ve been intimate with tell me it’s voluptuous,”
Brenda got a soft butt, or so says all the dudes that have banged her. You know its weird if that was on a white girl I’d be like year thats a pretty big booty, but its on a black girl so I’m kinda like ehhh pretty standard.
“Every once in a while, I catch glimpses in the mirror and notice how nice it is to have a small waist with a big butt. It’s important to me!”
Now thats a seriously plump ass. Could use a little more humility on Chelsea Simone, walking around checking out her own ass in the mirror like she’s Jen Selter or something. Calm down hun. You got a bubble butt but you’re still just letting the NY Post take pictures of you so it cant be that good.
Finalist Darby Puckett, 20, of Virginia
“My secret is a combination of gymnastics and Hardee’s chicken biscuits. I’m from the south. You get enough fat in there and you’ll get this butt.”
Well howdy do, Darby Puckett! You wanna eat chicken biscuits and let me have sex with you?? I’ll bring 6 chicken biscuits in a brown bag that I’ll put over your head later.
“My butt is .?.?. a blessing and a curse because when I try to dress professionally it’s loud, but when I’m in the club it’s LOUD!” said Tammy Chrisphonte, 32, preschool teacher from Queens
No gas, I’m pretty sure Tammy is a midget. No way she’s taller than 3.5 feet.
Mattie Jo Cowsert
Mattie Jo Cowsert, 24, who moved from Missouri to New York to be an actress, said she couldn’t resist entering. “I sent it to my mom and told her to pray for me,” she joked.
Mattie Jo are you lost babe? Is that what a nice ass looks like in Missouri? Note to self never go to Missouri.
If this is a Serena Williams look alike contest we have a runaway winner
Odds that Thalia works at Sue’s Rendezvous – 5/2
This is probably me just being racist but that chick all the way on the right looks like the early frontrunner. Probably just because she looks like a normal white girl with a nice ass in yoga pants. #Racist.
And my favorite contestant of this whole show:
SULLYBETH. This leviathan just DGAF. Self awareness out the window and she squeezes that ass and her granny panties into what looks like a black Flex Force trash bag. Good luck, SULLYBETH. You are a braver person than I am.
PS – The best ass in NYC is the chick with the Mystery Ass from Village Pourhouse:
This ass is my Moby Dick.