Royal Rumble Preview

Disclaimer: This is all about wrestling, if you don’t like wrestling save yourself some time and skip right down to commenting because that’s cooler than a scripted performance just like every other TV show.

First and foremost, the Royal Rumble is awesome. It is the event I look forward to the most when it comes to wrestling, because even though Wrestlemania is the Super Bowl of wrestling, the twists that are possible make the Rumble that much more exciting. The main problem with wrestling today is that everything is on internet so stuff is always getting leaked, or someone is getting spotted at an airport but with the Rumble you expect to see more people in town and the main event isn’t a title match. You pumped? I’m pumped, so lets dive into the card.

The New Day vs. Cesaro, Tyson Kidd and Adam Rose

This match is just to make sure the cameras work right? On the pre-show no one cares what happens but this give 2 new groups a chance to see if they can get over with the crowd and try out some tag team moves. Is that Adam Rose and the Rabbit gimmick even a thing anymore? Either way this is just a warm up for Kofi to do something big later in the night.

Prediction: New Day

The Ascension vs. The New Age Outlaws 

For anyone not totally up to speed, The Ascension is a new team that dresses and acts like the Legion of Doom and has been cutting promos saying they are better than LOD. The New Age Outlaws are the greatest tag team of all time, but we all knew that. The tag team division is in such bad shape that the Outlaws had to come out of retirement so the Ascension had a storyline, and as much as I would love for the Outlaws to be around for a few months, this is probably a one and done.

Prediction: The Ascension

Paige and Natalya vs. Bellas 

The Bellas will probably lose so they can fight each other with no resolution for another few months. If you smoke, this is a good time to get a cig. I know that the women are becoming better athletes and all that but with the PG rating on wrestling there isn’t even the chance to see a tit anymore. Remember when the promo poster for a PPV would come out in the Attitude Era? The N for brief nudity would make my month.

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Prediction: Paige and Natalya.

The Usos vs. The Miz and Mizdow 

This has been going on for like 2 months and I honestly can’t stand any of these guys. Yeah the Mizdow thing is funny but this group is just so fucking boring. The Miz came from the Real World where he was supposed to be himself and was more of a character than he is now. And The Usos are the same boring cookie cutter shit every week dressed up in neon vomit. They must be selling a ton of t-shirts to still have the belts.

Prediction: The Usos because Vince clearly doesn’t care.

Brock Lesnar vs. John Cena vs. Seth Rollins For The Heavyweight Title

This is where reading everything on the internet sucks the most because we all know that Brock is under contract until Wrestlemania and is getting paid a ton of money to wrestle a limited schedule so he needs to be a big money draw. The smart money and the odds say that Brock is going to win and the lose at WrestleMania. However, the product has been so terrible lately and it’s been all over the blogs and podcasts that people are unhappy and the ratings show it. So what if Brock loses? What if he loses the belt in a match where he doesn’t have to be pinned and we don’t have to deal with another Cena title defense? In this case my prediction (this is more me fantasy booking) is that Rollins pins Cena and becomes the champion. Rollins is right on the cusp so why not see how he handles the spot.

Prediction: Rollins pins Cena to win the belt

Main Event 30 Man Battle Royal

This is is, this is the reason everyone is tuning in. Before I get into who I think will win, I have watched every Royal Rumble match ever, within the last year. Just something about the Rumble is exciting because you never know who will turn up whether it’s a veteran who hasn’t been around in forever, Pete Rose or Drew Carey, anything can happen. I went to the 1992 Royal Rumble when the winner got the vacant title and there was no way that anyone besides Hulk Hogan was going to win. I mean come on he was Hulk Hogan, he couldn’t be beat. To my shock Rick Flair, a bad guy, won and from right there I was hooked. I have watch guys enter at #1 and win and I have watched guys enter at #30 and seen both win.

A big part of the Royal Rumble is surprise entrants and I think that will be a big part of this year’s match as well. First, the Rumble is in Philly which means that the WWE is in ECW country, so watch for a few of those guys to pop up as entrants. Secondly, last week was a reunion show and a bunch of HHH friends were in the building plus he likes to give them spots so don’t be surprised to see Kevin Nash or Philadelphia resident X-Pac just in the mix. The most important surprise entrant I think we will see though will not be a celebrity or a veteran but none other than Brock Lesnar.

Fans are tired of not having the champion on Raw every week, and fans are too smart to not expect Brock to just win out until his contract expires because we all know his contract status. Knowing all of this, my prediction is that Brock incensed that he lost his belt without being pinned enters the Rumble match as a surprise entrant and goes on to win the match. Everyone is expecting Reigns or Daniel Bryan to win because that’s who is “next” but at the end of the day Reigns can’t cut promos and Bryan needs to wrestle for more than a month to prove he can stay healthy. What’s  best for business is to have Brock lose the title but still keep him in the title mix and every Rumble needs a dominant big man to throw people around. Kane and Big Show are too old to be that guy and Rusev isn’t at that level yet. By process of elimination the WWE needs Brock to be that guy, that’s what they pay him to do.

Prediction: Brock Lesnar

There we have it, a combination of what I think will happen and what I think should happen before the ship starts sinking and the McMahons have to sell to Disney.

The worst part of this is I will be on a plane during the entire PPV and probably wont be able to stream it so I’ll be stuck following on Twitter.
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