Phil Simms Says He's Only Missed Breakfast 5 Times In His Entire Life

Now I’m not gonna hold him to this because he obviously said its not definitely true, but this is simply a preposterous claim. Even if you’re just ballparking. Approximating. Throwing out the number of missed breakfasts at FIVE is outrageous. Reminds me of when my wife told me she had never burped. She was like “Yea I just dont burp.” I called her out for being a lying idiot and she was like “OK fine. Youre right. But its only about 10 times.” Chick tried to tell me she had only burped 10 times in her WHOLE LIFE. I think she burped like 10 times that week.

As far as breakfast goes, that meal is strictly a weekend thing in my life. Saturday and Sunday I’ll wake up and order a pork roll egg and cheese or some pancakes, but thats about it. Monday to Friday breakfast isnt even on my radar. Which is weird because I fucking love breakfast foods. Bacon and eggs. Waffles and pancakes. French toast. All that shit. Delicious. I just dont ever have it on weekdays. Aint got time for that shit. I just wake up and start slinging heat on the internet. Plus I honestly think if I added in another meal I’d go from Skinny Fat to full blown Fat Fat. So I miss breakfast 5 times a week and Phil Simms has missed it 5 times in his 60 years on this planet earth. 21,914 days. 5 missed breakfasts. Completely unreasonable claim.

PS – 21,909 breakfasts and the guy still cant even drink tea