Costa Rica Update: Being Stranded On An Active Volcano Sucks

(Background ICYMI

Today, me and John decided to take a visit to Poás Volcano. When I crowd sourced ideas, you guys mentioned it a lot and it was also near the top of most trip advisor lists. Also my good friend (and LB for both NYCFC and the Costa Rican national team) Ronald Matarrita said it was the shit. So John and I woke up at 6am to get there bright and early, and our uber drove us 1 hour up winding, bumpy mountain roads in his lowered Hyundai elantra alllllll the way to the top of this mountain. 

It's fucking incredible. Like standing at the edge of the world. BUT, Max Kellerman, we couldn't stay long or else the toxic fumes being let off would have killed us dead. So we went back down to the guest center and realized a few things. 

1. There was no taxis or buses at the top of the mountain

2. We had no service to call a cab or an uber

Realizing we were in a bit of a pickle, we ended up syphoning off some park ranger station wifi and calling an uber which was a healthy 30 minutes away. He then decides "Fuck these assholes" 15 minutes after accepting and cancels citing mechanical issues. After a while of waiting, we ended up getting a jovial older fellow to accept and drive a half hour up the mountain where we were waiting, starving and sunburnt. I swear to you, I could have kissed the man in that moment. He then proceeded to drive through half of San Jose on the way back, nearly doubling the trip time to presumably hike his fare or something. I didn't even care because every second I was in that volcano parking lot was pure agony. Every time I felt a few vibrations I wasn't sure if I was about to be covered in pyroclastic flow or if I forgot to unplug my Hitachi prostate pro 5000. Flash-foward 1000 years into the future and some new civilization digs me up and puts me on display labeled "Fat man who died pounding off" 

Fuck that. So thank you to uber driver John. The whole saga is chronicled better on the Sam's Army instagram where I am posting live updates throughout the day. As I write this I'm getting ready to go to the team practice ahead of the game vs San Carlos tomorrow. I'll be talking with players (Including some prospective U.S. team ones), coaches, you name it. Follow along!