Maybe What The MLB Really Needs Is A Championship Cup
Lotta folks out there are rightfully peeved with the Houston Astros for being a bunch of cheating scumbags. I get it. I really do. And not to take away from that or anything, but I think the even bigger issue here is that the league has Rob Manfred referring to the Commissioner's Trophy as just "a piece of metal". That's easily the most damaging thing to the game to come out of this entire ordeal. For the commissioner to refer to the most important trophy the game has to offer as a "piece of metal"? That's how you know the game is broken. But I'm here to fix it.
You want to know who would never refer to their league's trophy as just a piece of metal? Gary Bettman. And that's because the Stanley Cup is the greatest trophy in all of sports. It would be like someone referring to Mountain Dew Code Red as "just a beverage". When in reality, it's so much more than that. It's the nectar of the Gods. But maybe what the MLB needs to do is spice up the Commissioner's Trophy a little bit just to make sure nothing like this can ever happen again. Life is all about learning from your mistakes and making sure you don't make the same ones twice. So how about a Commissioner's Cup?
You can take pictures of babies sitting inside of it. Every player can have a day with it in the offseason where you can either use it as a bowl for spaghetti or cereal or whatever. Engrave the name of each player who wins the trophy onto the base rings. I mean who wants to carry around a bunch of metal flags anyway? Give the boys what they want, which is something they can crush a zillion celebratory beers out of.