Kid Either Trips and Falls into Wrestling Mats and Suffocates, Or He Was Killed and Had His Organs Harvested

CNN - The family of a teen found dead in a rolled-up wrestling mat went to court Tuesday to demand a coroner’s inquest into his death, arguing that conflicting autopsy reports require a second look by authorities. A state medical examiner ruled the high school athlete suffocated in January after getting stuck head-down in the gym mat. But his parents, Kenneth and Jacquelyn Johnson, disputed the findings and won a court order to have their son’s body exhumed for another autopsy. The private pathologist who conducted that autopsy in June found that Johnson had a blow to right side of his neck “consistent with inflicted injury.” And in the process, he discovered that the teen’s body had been stuffed with newspaper after his internal organs were removed for the original autopsy — a grisly find that only fueled the Johnson family’s suspicions about their son’s death.

Oh, Great Odin’s Raven! There are two theories on how he died, and both are loony as hell. At first they tried to say this kid tripped and fell into a rolled up mat and then suffocated to death. If that was true, that would be the nerdiest way to die. Probably kicking his feet like he was getting a swirly. But that made zero sense to 99.9% of people, so they looked a teeny, tiny bit deeper and found out his body was stuffed like a paper mache piggy bank after he had his organs harvested. Yikes.

I love how the coroner missed that the first time. I feel for him. It’s exactly like my MFK today when I wrote “mary” instead of “marry”. Tiny mistake that anyone can make at their jobs. Forgetting an “r” in a word, not realizing the kid has the new york times coming out of every orifice. Tomato, tomato.