The Best Way To Avoid Getting The Coronavirus On A Plane Is Apparently To Wrap Yourself In A Full-Sized Body Condom

As someone that is grounded from any sort of air travel until my 1-year-old son can go more than 2 hours without transforming into an outright monster and way too poor to fly anywhere near Asia (this video was taken on an Australian flight), my fear of the coronavirus is pretty low. Obviously whenever I am in the overcrowded petri dish called New York City for work, I run away from anyone with even the slightest case of the sniffles and wash my hands to the bone after riding the forever filthy subway. But I couldn't be more in favor of these airline passengers taking the infamous Naked Gun sex scene to the next level.

If going double wrapping yourself with a mask and a full body condom (available in both his and hers colors!) prevents me from becoming a statistic, you better believe I'm going against everything I learned as a kid about the dangers of putting a plastic bag over my head. Being able to get to my destination in a couple of hours while avoiding the biggest plague on the planet is worth the sideways looks from the other passengers that are likely disrespectful reclining assholes and having to wait until after the flight to eat my delicious Biscoff cookie. Even the outside chance of suffocation doesn't bother me since not only will I avoid the coronavirus in my Bubble Boy suit but I will also avoid any potential airplane farts from any of the savages around me that willfully rip ass in a flying tin can full of recycled air, which is a win/win/win no matter which way you cut it.