— Rachel Nichols (@Rachel__Nichols) January 9, 2015
When I was in high school our basketball coach signed us up to play in a summer league in New Rochelle. It was some fucking ghetto ass park off of Lincoln ave. Now its all been redone and its got glass backboards and shit but when I played there it was one of those courts with the triple rims. Rim basically as thick as a fucking garbage can. It was one half step above from playing on hoops with chain nets.
Anyway, we were just a bunch of scrawny white boys from Pelham and all the teams from New Ro and Mount Vernon and Yonkers played in these leagues. Nobody over six feet, everyone was like 5’11 from point guard to center. We werent even the type of white boys who can play with black kids. You know if you just play sound defense and take charges and set a few picks and shit they get frustrated? Well we were just completely overwhelmed and they were just running us off the court every single night. I’m talking And 1 type of shit – guys getting the ball thrown off their faces and shit. Trying to break up alley oops and just getting HAMMERED. So one night we’re playing Mount Vernon 1. They had 2 teams. “1” was like their A team. And our coach gave us this exact speech. Talking about how these kids were just mere mortals and they bleed red and they put their pants on one leg at a time and all this other garbage. You could even see in his face he was like “You guys are FUCKED. I probably shouldnt have ever scheduled this game.” It was more of a farewell speech as we were sent to the slaughterhouse as opposed to a pump up speech in the huddle. I kid you not we lost that game like 72-9. I know they were in the 70s and we didnt crack double digits. Getting the ball across half court was a miracle.
Well back to NBA basketball, thats where the Knicks are at. Derek Fisher giving grown ass men the “believe in YOURSELF and you can achieve your dreams!” speech like he’s some sort of motivational poster hanging on the walls of a goddam elementary school classroom. Now in his defense, the guys the Knicks are trotting out there probably need to hear speeches like this. Look at this lineup last nite:
Half those guys need the “the rims are the same height” speech. Put it all together and its the most pathetic thing I’ve ever seen. Either you have a coach who’s so in over his head he’s giving CYO level speeches, you have a team who’s so shitty they need that type of inspiration, or both. Clem said it best last night – this team is worse than the Isiah/Marbury/Eddy Curry, and they might be worse than my high school summer league team. Mount Vernon 1 would give them a run for their money.
PS – This is what Derek Fisher should have really said: