My Top 5 Favorite Meals You've Never Had Before

Tomorrow (hopefully), I'm going to try my best to change my lifestyle. I barely work out anymore, my metabolism is starting to lose itself, and my face is slowly developing into an expired baked potato. Don't forget that this baked potato is averaging one kiss per month though.

I've been paying a monthly membership at Planet Fitness since I think May of last year and have been there maybe 3 times. Thankfully, Planet Fitness is very cheap, but I'm still wasting some money. Walking around Manhattan has kept me somewhat in shape. But if I'm getting a lift in, it's usually when I'm back home in Indy for the holidays. Hell, I rarely play basketball anymore. But that's ok because no matter what, that boy is BENT.

*I apologize if there's a 15 second ad for a 20 second video*

To be honest with you, I've been wanting to get back into the gym for a long time. I just haven't committed to the process. 2 people have recently inspired me to change my ways. My evil twin Daddy Long Neck, and Brandon Newman. 

Long Neck is in my nightmares every damn night! If this guy can pipe, why can't I!? 

On a more serious note, Brandon's workout blogs have been very inspirational. He's one of my favorite people to talk to and seeing him put in the work to not only prepare for RNR, but to feel better makes me want to copy him. 

My long term goals are easier said than done. For the next 6 months, I want to:

1. Workout at least 4 times a week

2. Stay BENT on the court at least 2 times a week

3. Give up eating my favorite meals

Number 3 is going to be a bitch. Don't get it twisted, my current diet isn't that bad. I eat protein bowls, snag a banana once in awhile, and cook fish at home. But I'm a whore for these snacks. If I don't stop messing with these snacks, I'm probably going to develop something. What are my favorite snacks you may ask?

1. Two PB&J's with Cheese Nips 

A classic right here. Whether it's lunch, dinner, or a midnight snack, there's never a bad time for a couple PB&Js with cheese nips. I love scraping the peanut butter and jelly off my knife onto my plate and dipping some Cheese Nips in them. I swear to Ugly God it's one of the best tasting things in the world. Fuck your hummus and pita bread combo. If we're being real, I think throwing Cheese Nips out of my system will be good enough. 

2. French Toast Sticks with Ruffles and Scrambled Eggs.

It's everything you need in the food pyramid! Sweet, salty, and protein. My all time favorite french toast sticks are Burger King's. The OG BK fans know about the chicken feet nuggets they had back in the early 2000's. Ever since those disappeared, I've only stuck with them for the sticks. Dipping them in their maple syrup and eating some ruffles with eggs are fabolous. If you really want to live, drink some whole milk with it. Best breakfast ever.


3. Stouffer's Mac and Cheese with Crackers and Cinnamon Applesauce

Now this is a great late night meal. Unless it's homemade, Stovers Mac and Cheese is the best you can buy! Biting into some crackers every few bites and a few scoops of cinnamon applesauce just tastes amazing. 

4. Oreo-O's with Whole Milk.

First of all, cereal at night is 20X better than having it for breakfast. I've tried eating cereal in the morning and it's depressing. I'll never know why, but milk and cereal after 9pm hits different. Oreo-O's with marshmallows is a hall of fame snack selection. I have to be honest, I may just make this my cheat snack every now and then. I've been eating this cereal since I came out of the womb.

5. Stouffer's Fettuccine Alfredo with Broccoli, Crackers, and Cinnamon Applesauce.

A dinner made for champions. It's so easy to make, and it's delicious. The main reason why I'm giving up this frozen gourmet meal is because there's so much sodium in it. And it's probably not nutritional to add some cinnamon applesauce with it. This is my favorite meal to throw in the microwave, but it's time to say goodbye to this frozen box of glory.

I'm tired of being a skinny deformed kid. I want to be a lean mean deformed kid! My new diet is going to strictly consist of burgers, chicken, fish, rice, all that fun stuff. I truly care about how I look, and you should too! Life's too short not to look your best before it's time for your prostate exam (kind've hype for that day). I hope Operation Buff Mantis continues to stay the course since my previous attempt lasted like 5 days.