Plymouth Rock Was Vandalized & Something Needs To Be Done!!
In case you missed it on Hard Factor this morning because my audio was complete shit, sorry about that, history buffs and residents of Plymouth, Massachusetts are on the hunt for some vandals that apparently thought it was hardcore to spray paint the famous Plymouth Rock, right before the 400th anniversary celebration, as well as many other statues and monuments around town. Story here
So who gives a shit right? It's a fucking rock, it can be scrubbed, as can the Pilgrim Maiden statue, and the decorative scallop shells the town installed for the 400th anniversary, as can the fucking bench that old people sit on to stare at the rock from afar, no big deal.
Check it out, power washing, all gone...
FUCK THAT, this IS a BIG DEAL and here's why... old people live in Plymouth, and this fucking rock is all they have and this is giving them all heart palpitations and hemorrhoids. Thirty six percent, that's very close to half, of Plymouth's 56,500 residents (94% white people, shocker) are 50 years or older, and you know what old people love? That's right. a great memorial/landmark. It helps them remember stuff, it gives them a sense of pride, and it gives them a big one up on cruise ships when people talk about where they are from. Try competing with Bill from Plymouth when he talks about that rock and how many times he bent a chick over it, all with a thick Boston accent, you might as well buy him a drink and keep the fact that you live close to Mount Rushmore to your fucking self.
Another way to look at it is this...What a bunch of fucking pussies these vandals are, tagging a famous rock with your weak gang name and area code "508 MOF" is not only stupid because now police know which group of pussies to look for, but you also just announced to the world that the "508 MOF" gang is the softest gang in the world. Good luck protecting your turf with the street cred you gained by spraying a famous rock, whats next for them, they gonna graffiti The Liberty Bell?
One theory floating around is that 508 MOF has to do with the process of removing carbon dioxide from the atmosphere, and these little fuckers, who also wrote some not so kind things directed at local police, are just climate activists/cop haters, see the boring article explaining the process here and here
However, this doesn't look like the work of climate change activists and Betty is PISSED!! SHAME ON YOU 508MOF!!
All these little bastards accomplished is they gave the Plymouth town crew a reason to use the new power washer, which I'm sure was awesome. It also made the 400th anniversary a lot more public and notable, so congrats on helping the town bring in revenue, punks of the 508MOF. Plymouth is America's Hometown, and that means we should protect it, the rock, and the old people who live there at all costs, and if you don't like that you can go get wicked fucked.
Also, according to one listener this rock is used for other things as well.
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