The Troops Are Buzzin: College Lacrosse Week 2 Recap

The Army is in charge of defending our freedom and way of living against any foreign threat to our nation. So having to defend 6x6' lacrosse net really isn't much of a test when that's what you're up against. It would be like telling a master chef to butter up a piece of toast. So it really shouldn't come as much of a surprise to anybody that the Troops are out here beating the absolute piss out of teams left and right to start the season. They opened up the year with a 17-4 win over UMass. Then they had what was essentially a practice against NJIT and took away a 19-1 win. Then this weekend they had their first real test against a top 20 ranked Rutgers team. Now whether or not Rutgers deserved to be in the top 20 is still up for debate (they don't and they never do), but still. They had a top 20 team on the schedule and what did they go out there and do?

Just something light like a 15-4 win. 3-0 to start the season. So far this year they're outscoring their opponents 51-9. THREE games and they've still only given up single digits. And even though UMass looked like trash against Army to start the season, they turned around and beat Ohio State this weekend so maybe UMass is actually kind of decent. So it's not like Army has come out to play just against NJIT and Cleveland State and whatever other teams won't end up with wins this year. Those are a couple of quality wins and they're outscoring teams 51-9 through three games. The Troops are officially a problem. 

Something something the Tortoise and the Hare:

What's the saying again? Slow and steady wins the race? Seems to be working out pretty well for the Terps so far this season. Because Maryland is 3-0 on the season but if you just watched them play in the first half so far this year, you'd have it going the other way. They started off slow in their season opener against High Point and were tied at 7-7 at one point in the first half. They went on to win that game 23-12. Then last week against Richmond they were down 12-7 before winning that game in double overtime. And this past weekend against Penn, the Terps were down 15-9 before they casually decided to score the final 8 goals of the game. 


5 goals on the day for Daniel Maltz, and 4 of those goals were after the Terps were already down 15-9. His first goal of the day was the one to get Maryland to 9 so that was 5 out of the last 9 goals for Maryland leading the way to an epic comeback. What a sick bastard. Only thing that sucks about this Maryland team is the tv camera angle at College Park. Like we're watching from a blimp. 

Matt Moore To Rip A Hole Through The Net At Some Point This Season -350:

Matt Moore got to cut down the net last year with a pair of scissors after winning the National Championship. This year it looks like he's just going to leave the scissors at home and tear through the net with a shot. Now I'll be honest that this goal hurt a little considering it was Delco on Delco crime with Moore blasting this past Lehigh goalie James Spence. But a rip is a rip. You could have thrown two more goalies in the cage there and this piss missile was still going to smack the back of the net. 

Virginia moves to 2-0 on the year after an impressive 12-8 win over a top 20 Lehigh team. Virginia fans probably shouldn't make any plans to go anywhere on Memorial Day Weekend besides Philly for another trip to the Final Four. 

Hopkins Does Hopkins Things, Simply Refuse To Be Great:


First off--what an absolute rocket ship from Ryan McNulty on this rip. Good lord. But second off--what is wrong with Johns Hopkins? Why do they hate being great? It's like they're allergic to greatness these days. This Hopkins team beat the brakes off of Towson to start the season. Then they come out against Loyola--who had just gotten worked by Virginia to start the year despite the final score making it seem closer than it actually was--and they're getting pole goals blasted on them to go down 10-4 in the 4th quarter. I just don't understand how Hopkins can look like one of the best teams in the nation one week and then look like total trash the next week. But that's been their M.O. for the last few years now. The most consistently inconsistent program we've ever seen. 

Mile High Duke: 

I mentioned this last week but I'm pretty sure there's only been one year since 2011 that the home team in Duke vs Denver hasn't won. That was in 2013 when Denver opened up the year with a win on the road against Duke. But now Duke has finally returned the favor and handed Denver just their 10th home loss 2010. That's ten years of lacrosse and only 10 home losses. And that right there is just the incredible mystery of February Duke. They lose at home to Air Force to start the season, then travel to Colorado and beat Denver on the road. None of that makes a lick of sense, but neither does February Duke. 

3 goals from Owen Caputo. 3 goals from Joey Manown. 3 goals from Canadian freshman Dyson Williams (unbelievably strong lacrosse name). And we're not even in the point of the season yet where Duke really starts to turn it on. All I'm saying is there used to be another Canadian attackman for Duke who had a rather illustrious college lacrosse career. It's still early in his career now but don't be surprised if you start seeing Dyson Williams start to blow past some greats in 3 years from now. 

Some Extra Ground Balls: 

- Yale beat Villanova for the first time since 2017 which means that you can officially count Yale out from playing for the National Championship this year. In each of the last two seasons, they've lost to Villanova in overtime and then went on to play on Memorial Day. After an 18-12 win on Saturday, the dynasty is no more. 


- This goal from Chris Gray is just so absurdly silky. UNC is now 3-0 on the year and they're beating teams on an average of 12.33 goals per game. Wagon. 

- Peter Dearth might actually murder somebody this year on his way to the rack. That's now the 2nd body that he's snatched and Cuse is only 2 games into the season.