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We Have Our Most Ridiculous Rumor of Ridiculous Tom Brady Rumor Season (So Far): He's Going to the Giants

Source - For the second time this winter, the New York Giants are being linked to New England Patriots quarterback Tom Brady as a potential free-agent suitor for the six-time Super Bowl champion. Per SNY: 

Talking on 98.5 Sports Hub’s Zolak & Bertrand, (Scott) Zolak said a source “not from the Brady side but very connected” told him not to “fall asleep” on the Giants are a potential landing spot for Brady. 

Last month, WEEI’s Dale Arnold hinted at the same thing. ...

“I was told the Jets may be interested, and Joe Judge may be interested for the New York Giants.” ...

Of course, the Giants hiring former Patriots special teams coordinator Joe Judge as their new head coach probably helps keep rumors like this alive. 

OK, let's do this, shall we? Get it over with so we can move on.

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Whooo ... hahaha. Alright. [Deep breath. Drying eyes. Gaining composure.] Ahem. Whooosh. [Clears throat.] Well, that was fun, wasn't it? My how I do enjoy a good hearty laugh.

Yup. We've finally figured it out. This is what all this has been about. Brady got the Patriots to agree to forgo the Franchise Tag because he's been playing a long con. His goal all this time was to finally live out his dream of quarterbacking a 4-12 team. 

Ever since he was a little kid, throwing the pigskin around in the back yard with Tom Sr., he imagined himself running the 19th best offense in the NFL and teaming up with the 30th ranked defense. To line up under center behind the offensive line that, according to Pro Football Focus, was 17th in run blocking and 22nd in pass protection. And whose receivers were graded marginally better than the ones he'd be leaving.

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You got it. With somewhere between one and three years left in his career, the most hyper-competitive and most accomplished winner of all time wants to go to a team that is light years further away from winning another Super Bowl than the team he's currently with. And why? Because reasons. Because he wants to play for Joe Judge, the Pats Special Teams coach that he's probably barely ever had a reason to speak to. Even this year, when Judge was pulling double duty as the receivers coach. Or maybe because he really wants to return to those days when he had Nate Solder protecting his geometrically perfect ass.

Thanks, for the chuckle, whichever Giants source completely not from the Brady camp that's going around feeding this drivel to Boston's midday talk show hosts. How that does any good for the second year quarterback you just used the No. 6 pick on is beyond me. But by all means, keep the laughs coming.

I thought this process would be utterly nonsensical and hilarious. But even in my wildest visions of it, did I think it'd be a total farce. This theater of the absurd. And it's only Valentine's Day. By the time we hit legal tampering, there won't be a team Brady is not linked to. And since it's already gotten this preposterous, I'm going to embrace it from here one out. To take a spin on Mr. GOAT's Wild Ride. You do not have to be this deranged in order to get on, but please keep your hands and feet inside the car at all times. And like most amusement rides, I'm sure I'll be puking my face off before this one comes to a stop.