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Justin Bieber Is The New Manager At The Dangle Factory

Pavel Datsyuk, Linus Omark, Justin Bieber. That right there is the COO, the CFO and the CEO of the Dangle Factory. Just some unreal mittens on all of those legends and I'm starting to think that Bieber might be the sauciest of them all. 

First he casually showed off just how easily he can go top bunk on the backhand. 

Typically we'd only see guys like Crosby and Patty Kane make it look that easy. But J Biebs knows where momma hides the cookies. 

Then we see him pull off the Forsberg right off the bat, leading me to believe this will be Bieber's signature move when he stuffs a quick 7 past Jordan Binnington whenever they get around to that shootout challenge. 

Unbelievable handle. Unbelievable touch. Sets it up perfectly and buries it in the back of the net. Silky smooth like fresh stick of butter. 

And then he decides to just get aggressively rude at the end with this behind-the-back finish. 

That's a statement move right there. I think a lot of folks have just brushed this Bieber vs Binnington shootout challenge off as a joke, but if you listened to the Binnington interview on Chiclets then you'll know that Justin Bieber has been legitimately training for this thing. I mean the guy has a new album that just came out today but most of the stuff we've seen lately is just him working on his hands. And speaking of his hands--is he a little clap happy with the puckhandling? Does it sound like he's chopping up onions every time he stickhandles? Sure. But that's just for the camera. Because when you have hands as fast as Justin, the untrained eye won't be able to notice that skill. So if you just chop it up every time you're coming down the ice, now everybody can hear those hands go to work. That's show business, baby. 

P.S. - Honestly those moves are halfway decent from Bieber. But if you're looking for something that will extra shatter your brain this morning, here's former NJ Devils prospect Mattias Tedenby putting on a magic show for Davos. 

Gross gross gross. Those goddamn Swedes, man. They're just on a different level.